Sanders Sides Oneshots

I Warned You

CONTENT WARNING! Blood, gore, just violence in general, swearing

Seriously, it's kinda messed up.

Final warning!

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Patton, Janus, and the twins were walking to the park when Patton accidentally bumped into a pair of guys, knocking a drink out of one of the guys' hands. "I am so sorry! Here, let me help you!" He pulled a rag out of his backpack and started to wipe up the drink from his shirt. "I'll buy you a new drink. I am so sorry."

The man shoved him away. "Don't touch me, freak! Why the hell would you run into me? Couldn't you see me coming? Are you mentally deficient?"

Remus moved forward to stand behind Patton. "Don't fucking touch my boyfriend!"

"Or what?" The other man asked. "Are you going to hit me? If you lay a finger on me, I'm calling the cops!"

Remus just smiled coldly. "It's your funeral." He took the rag out of Patton's hand and started mopping up the drink of his shirt. When the men stared at them, Remus raised an eyebrow. "You need something? Or are you too busy staring at my ass to move? I know I'm hot, but I am taken."

The men's faces screwed up in disgust. "No! I'm not gay!" They blurted in unison. Remus smirked and turned back to Patton.

"Let's go." Patton took his hand and they turned and walked away, leaving the men stunned with what had just happened. Roman and Janus looked at each other and quickly followed Remus and Patton.

Remus groaned and untangled himself from the tangled tattered remains of his blanket. He flopped on the floor and crawled to his feet. A flash of white caught his eye and he turned to his nightstand. A piece of paper was sitting folded next to his fake oil lamp. Janus made him get it to replace the real one. A real oil lamp was a 'fire hazard' apparently.

Remus unfolded the piece of paper and read the chicken scratch scrawled across it. He ran to the mind palace and burst into the dining room. Virgil jumped and splashed some of his coffee on himself. "Remus!" He groaned. "Can't you walk into a room normally?"

Remus ignored him and ran to Janus. "He's gone."

"I know exactly what you are talking about." Janus lied. Remus groaned, exasperated.

"The guys we ran into yesterday! At the park! They must've-" The phone rang, cutting Remus off. Logan answered it.

"Hello?" He paused. "Yes, he's here. Would you like to speak to him?" Another pause. "Of course." Logan held the phone out to Remus. "It's for you. Please don't eat the phone again."

Remus took the phone from Logan and put it on speaker. "Who is this?"

"I have someone here that I think you know. Do you happen to know a man about 5'4, blond hair, glasses?"

"No?" Remus lied. The man on the other line sighed.

"Oh, well. If no one knows him, I guess we'll just kill him."

"No!" Janus blurted. The man chuckled.

"You do know him! Wonderful!" Remus ground his teeth together. "I will text you the address where I am keeping him. I expect $15 thousand in my possession within 12 hours-"

"No." Remus cut him off.

"No?" The man asked, confused.

"Yeah, no?" Virgil repeated, incredulous.

Remus shook his head. "No."

"I will literally kill him. If you are trying to call my bluff, it won't work!"