Quest and Tillie

Chapter 2: A Ride On The Town Bicycle

Strangely enough, for a person who just had a panic attack, I was beyond calm when I opened the front door to confront my husband, the man I loved who had just ruined everything. 

We just stared at each other for a minute. His face was ravaged, his eyes red rimmed as if he'd been crying on the way here. He knew. He knew with that scene I'd witnessed, he'd taken nine years of pure love, crumpled it into a ball and set fire to it.

I have no idea what he saw in my face as his eyes held mine. Despair? Betrayal? Pain? All of the above?

How do you go about separating yourself from the man you've been with since you were sixteen years old? The man you had trusted with your heart?

"Will you come out and talk?"

"If I do, you need to keep your distance. You're still covered in skank."

He hung his head, then nodded and backed away.

When he'd left home this morning, I'd had no clue, no inkling that our lives would never be the same. When he pressed his lips to mine, I had no idea that would be the last time Quest Sullivan would kiss me. Did he? Did he know he'd be fucking Mary-Lou Dawn this afternoon?

"How long have you been with Mary-Lou?"

"Never! Never before today, Tillie. Swear to god. Today was the only time I ever stepped out on you. I'm not with her."

"So why today, Quest? When you said good-bye to me this morning, did you know you'd be taking a ride on the town bicycle this afternoon?"

"God, no, Tillie. No! It wasn't planned. It just happened."

That brought my head up sharply. "No, Quest, things like that don't just happen. Things just happen to a two-year-old who has no self control. You're twenty-six years old. So tell me why it just happened."

"That's what I can't explain, Til. I can't fucking explain why it happened."

"Have you been wanting to get with her for a while?"

He looked horrified. "Hell, no."

"Was something lacking in our relationship that you had to seek her out?"

"No! And I didn't seek her out. You gotta believe that; I did not seek her out."

"Was it the thought of someone new, someone more exciting that made you fuck her and throw our marriage away?"

"Don't say that!" Those green eyes were boring into mine. "Don't give up on us, Tillie."

"From where I'm standing, I wasn't the one who gave up on us."

"All I thought about on the drive here was why I did it. What the hell I'd been thinking. And I don't have an answer for you. I've been stressed about the loans, but that's no reason to do what I did. I don't have a secret thing for her. I don't want anyone but you."

"Well, that's kind of laughable considering what I just walked in on. So, it was just time to try something new on for size? See what you've been missing all this time?"

"No! Tillie, I love you. I love you more than anything on earth. I don't want anyone else -- I have no clue why it happened. All I could give you is excuses, but nothing that can justify what I did."

"You're telling me that you had sex with Mary-Lou Dawn, who's been after you since high school, and there's no reason for it?" My voice may have gotten more and more shrill with each word.

He raked a hand through his hair. "I don't know why I did it. I don't know why."

"You must have found her attractive or she had something I didn't."