Total Drama Mulan (crossover)

The Matchmaker

Woman: Fa Li, are your daughters here yet?

Fa Li: Just about! I know! The matchmaker is not a patient woman.

Grandmother Fa: She's never patient anyways. She can get mean and say things too.

*Little did she know that the matchmaker was listening.*

Matchmaker: Huh, guess she's heard of me. Now I see why she dislikes me. And WHAT IS SHE DOING CROSSING THE STREET WITH A CRICKET?!?!?!?!?! Wait a minute....... she didn't even get a scratch! Woah! That cricket is lucky!

*Meanwhile.........*

Mulan: We're here! Oh, I look like a wreck! Okay, look, I had to do chores and.......

Fa Li: I know that, but let's get you cleaned up!

Fa Gwen: Mother's right, Mulan!

Fa Courtney: You'll feel better after a bath and makeover!! Believe me, we had our baths when we had to meet the matchmaker. You'll see who our matches are later! It's a surprise!

*Then, musical montage begins..........*

I don't own this song or video!

This is what you give me to work with
Well, honey, I've seen worse
We're going to turn this sow's ear
Into a silk purse

We'll have you washed and dried
Primped and polished
Till you glow with pride
Trust me recipe for instant bride
You'll bring honor to us all

Wait and see
When we're through
Boys will gladly go to war for you
With good fortune
And a great hairdo
You'll bring honor to us all

A girl can bring her family
Great honor in one way
By striking a good match
And this could be the day

Men want girls with good taste
Calm
Obedient
Who work fast-paced
With good breeding
And a tiny waist
You'll bring honor to us all

We all must serve our Emperor
Who guards us from the Huns
A man by bearing arms
A girl by bearing sons

When we're through
You can't fail
Like a lotus blossom
Soft and pale
How could any fellow
Say "no sale"
You'll bring honor to us all

There, you're ready
Not yet
An apple for serenity
A pendant for balance
Beads of jade for beauty
You must proudly show it
Now add a cricket just for luck
And even you can't blow it

Ancestors
Hear my plea
Help me not to make a
Fool of me
And to not uproot
My family tree
Keep my father standing tall

Scarier than the undertaker
We are meeting our matchmaker
Destiny
Guard our girls
And our future
As it fast unfurls
Please look kindly on
These cultured pearls
Each a perfect porcelain doll

Please bring honor to us
(Please bring honor to us)
Please bring honor to us
(Please bring honor to us)
Please bring honor to us all

*Then, the Matchmaker came out.*

Matchmaker: Fa Mulan.

Mulan: Present!

Matchmaker: Good! Come on in!

Grandmother Fa: What the heck?! She's in a good mood today! I wonder why?

*The matchmaker lead Mulan and her sisters into the temple. When they got there........*

Y/N: Ah, Fa Mulan! It's so good that you and your sisters could join me, my brother and the matchmaker today!

Fa Courtney: Hello, sweetie!

Me: Courtney! So good to see you again!

Mulan: Isn't Ryan a bit.......

Fa Courtney: Younger than me? Well..... yes, but it's okay. Because to be honest, I've never dated a guy younger than me in the history of China! It really doesn't matter what age you are.

Fa Gwen: She's right, Mulan. Trust me. They love each other like me and Y/N.

Y/N: Yep! That's a fact!

Matchmaker: Okay, before we begin matching Mulan with a man, has anyone ever watched Jeopardy?

Me: I use to, but it's not the same anymore. Not after Alex Trebek died.

Y/N: Oh yeah...... I heard about that.

Mulan: He was 80 when he died too!

Fa Gwen: But he lived a good life. What a legend!

Matchmaker: Indeed! Anyway, I'm gonna become an official hostess of Jeopardy.

Us: WOW!!!!!!

*Then, the Matchmaker began to do some matchmaking.*

Matchmaker: Recite the Final Admonition.

Mulan: Fulfill your duties calmly and respectfully. Reflect before you act. This should bring you honor and glory.

Matchmaker: Excellent!

Me: Uh....... Ms. Matchmaker...... you're in a good mood today.

Matchmaker: That's because I overheard Grandmother Fa talking about me earlier. She doesn't like me at all and I don't blame her. Which is why, starting now, I will be patient. And not rude.

*Then, Mulan followed the matchmaker.*

Matchmaker: And last, but not least, pour the tea.

*As Mulan poured the tea, the cricket was sitting in it. The matchmaker was about to drink it, but........*

Mulan: Uh..... excuse me........

Matchmaker: What's wrong? Is there something in my tea?

*She looked and saw the same cricket from earlier.*

Matchmaker: Hey! What are you doing in my tea! I'm not killing a cricket today or ever! That would be bad luck! Get out of there!

*The cricket jumped out.*

Matchmaker:*pours the tea out* Alright, I may need fresh tea, please.

Mulan: Yes, ma'am.

*Mulan poured it again. The matchmaker drank it.*

Matchmaker: Alright! Looks like you'll bring honor and glory to your family after all! Your match will be Li Shang. He's a great guy! Trust me, you'll love him!

Me: Our trainer? Wow! This gets better and better!

Y/N: Yeah!

Note: Next chapter will be where Shi Fu comes and tells us the Huns have invaded China.