Corrupt Love

Chapter Seventeen - Back Pains

Longer Chapter than usual.

"Seven? That's a lot Knox," Grey said, scrunching his eyebrows.

It was a lot, I thought. After that I don't know what came over me because I snatched my flyers back from Grey, gave Knox one good "fuck you" look, and marched off into the stands.

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I looked down into my hands, what have I done. I've only ever been in a club once...and now...oh god.

Domino appeared behind me, bouncing on my shoulders like she always did, "Heyy Bestie! Finally found something you like huh? I saw your name on the- oh wow."

Her sudden appearance made me jump, I hated when she did that. "Domino. I, uhm-" I was frozen with the stack of forms in my hand.

"You joined," She flipped through the papers, counting. "Thirteen...no fourteen clubs?! I thought you weren't gonna join any? How are you gonna balance this Astrix?" Domino giggled at my situation, "Do you even know what half of these things do?"

I slowly shook my head.

"Over achiever much? Couldn't you settle for like three? Or at this rate, at least like seven less?" She put her hand on her hip and gave me told-you-so like smile.

"I could just not show up, that's an option," My brain was shutting down. Where's Grey?

"It very much is an option, you have fun with that," She patted my shoulder. "Why don't you pick like a top two?"

I don't know what she just said, everything was going blurry. The full moon was tomorrow and I realized I didn't have a place to do my ritual, or a person to light my candles. I didn't want to think about until now but I've realized I have way too much on my plate. I needed to reset myself if I was going to survive this school, skipping or messing up on the ritual was not an option. The effects on of my last one were wearing off, that's why all this was happening. This is why I felt like I was going to puke around Grey and wanted to cave in Knox's face. I felt my breathing getting heavier, and I couldn't move. I was frozen in the middle of the cafeteria suddenly overthinking everything. There was a blur of Domino waving her hands in front of me. Maybe this is what I get for not sleeping, now my body is shutting down. What's happening? Why am I spinning? Please stop...

Everytime I blinked my surroundings would change a bit more and more, then I noticed the ground was getting grayer and the stands were disappearing. The parking lot. Please not here. Reality was shifting in between the home of my hallucinations and Blue Skies Academy's Club Fair. Only one was losing me to the other. I could feel my eyes rolling back into my head when I heard a distant calling of my name. But the shadow didn't talk so who-

I winced at a magnificent flash of purple and suddenly the life was sucked right back into me. I was back in the cafeteria: Grey was in front of me, he looked scared; Domino was beside Grey, eyebrow raised; Knox and two other guys I didn't recognize were also standing there, watching me. My heart was pounding and I was taking in larger than normal breaths of air, for some reason I couldn't speak either. I stumbled, I was getting dizzy. I just wanted to sit, there was too much going on.

What I hoped was Grey grabbed my hand and dragged me somewhere. It was dark and small, a closet? My vision slowly came back into focus as I slid down a wall, both my hands were being held.

"Astrix? Hello? Come on, your scaring me," This was unmistakably Grey's voice. Thank god it was him touching me.

"I just- everything stopped and- I don't know..." I didn't know. I was still confused.

"You froze and almost fell. Your not breathing normally either, do you have any medical conditions?" And that was Domino. Me, Domino, and Grey were in a storage closet.

"Medical? No I'm fine. I just got... overheated." I tried to stand up, I couldn't tell if I fell back down or was pushed but I couldn't get upright.

"Your not a radiator, it's ok you can tell us." She insisted I tell her. Everything wrong with me was Corrupt related and there was no way I was spilling that.

Grey squeezed my hands, it made my head feel hotter than it already was. "You don't have to say anything, but you do need to sit down for a bit. I bet it's the lack of sleep finally getting to you. We'll tell the nurse you passed out and you can take the day off."

"I don't wanna take the day off I wanna get back to- FUCK." It felt as if two swords were inside my spine, and were slowly but surely stabbing thier way out of me. Out of reflexes I tried to clasp my shoulder blades where the pain was coming from but it was such an awkward spot I ended up just slamming my back against the wall and curling into a ball.

I could feel both of their shocked faces watching me, why couldn't this wait until tonight?

Grey was knelt in front of me, "Are you ok?! What happened??"

I dug my nails into my arms in the moment of pain, "My back...please just make it stop...I need to get back to the dorm-"

"Your back? Where at? I think I can help a bit," Grey pushed me forward so he could get to my back. I didn't move, if anything I tucked myself further into the ball.

I had dragged them to far into this to resist anymore and it hurt too much. If Grey could help I was going to let him, "My shoulder blades, please." I could already feel the marks I was now about to have on my arms.

"Ok, let me know if this makes it any worse," Grey squeezed behind me and placed both of his hands just below my shoulder blades. He then pressed his thumbs directly in the center of both spots of pain.

My breathing halted at the sudden effect of whatever he was doing, it worked. Not only did it suddenly stop what felt like my spine clawing it's way out of me, but stopped my brain too.  Everything had been moving so fast and now it was all slowing down and returning to normal. I didn't want him to take the pressure off of my back. It felt like a taking a deep breath of lavender and feeling your body relax. Then I realized. I realized I wasn't allowed to be touched. I had been so distracted by everything going on this first week I had forgotten so many things. I had forgotten how I basically wasn't allowed to interact with any other human being unless mandatory. But I wasn't talking to them, they were talking to me. Everything had been going so good until today, now it was over, now...

The grip I had on my arms released and my hands fell at my sides. A sensation I hadn't experienced in years was happening here: In a storage closet with two people I'd known for  less than a month, two people trying to figure out what was happening to me and fix it. Not with torture or neglect either. Curled up in my ball, Grey applying pressure to my aches, and Domino's hand now rested on my knee I felt it. I felt the fresh tears stream down my cheeks, I felt the painful lump in my throat, I felt my chest tightening, and I felt...that was it; I was feeling something.

Although no one had even been speaking the room became abnormally quiet, and I looked up to make sure I wasn't hallucinating into another world again. Thankfully I wasn't, instead of being greated by a murderous shadow demon I was greeted by two, tight hugs. They didn't say a word, they spoke with physical touch. No matter how much I didn't want to, I could feel the crying intensify. I tried to wipe my face but it was no use. I couldn't remember the last time I was comforted like this, it was horrible. My own mother hadn't truly hugged me since I was 7, I had barely been touched since I was a child, but these people didn't know that. These people didn't know how touch starved I was, they didn't know how I didn't want them to let go yet couldn't bear the thought that I didn't deserve this.

I should stop this...but who knows when I'll feel again. I'll savor this, then I'll do my ritual...and it'll all be back to the way it was.