ꜰᴏʀ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ (ᴛᴏᴅᴏᴅᴇᴋᴜ)

uǝɥM ɹǝqɯǝɯǝᴚ

How do you feel fightin' your feelings?
Scared of your feelings, livin' in whiteout
I can't see nothin' but you, starin' down my headlights
Gotta get my head right, damn, I been here all night now
Gotta get my ways together (get your shit together)
Gotta gather all my shit, I said I wouldn't stay all night
But it's seven A.M., I'm gonna miss my next meetin' fuckin' wit' you
Guard's down fuckin' wit' you
I'm makin' bad decisions how I'm livin' and I like it
➪♧︎
♫ꨄSZA ~ Tread Carefully

꧁ꨄ❦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❦ꨄ꧂

Recap:

I go to answer, but my breath hitches in my throat. If I tell the truth here, that will open up doors for him to ask so many more invasive questions about topics that I'm hoping and praying to avoid. What should I do? I know I need to speak, but I'm frozen, I'm scared. Oh god, my breathing is too fast. They're going to notice my panic soon and then I'm really going to have to explain.

Todoroki pulls his arm from mine so that he can wrap his arm around my shoulder as he hushes me and tells me to relax. While I try to slow my heart down and get my breathing back to a normal pace, I watch Kurt's brow furrow as he scribbles something in his notebook. Shit, this is probably a drawback. I need to keep it together if I ever want to get out of here.

"I really think we should discuss this dream, Midoriya. Whatever it was is triggering you and might be a root cause of a lot of built up anxieties. If you tell me, we might be able to get somewhere," Kurt tells me.

Buddy, you don't even know. This has done more than just add to my anxiety.

I take a deep breath and look to the ground, leaning into Todoroki to hide myself as much as I can. I'm not entirely sure why, but I'm suddenly overcome with shame and embarrassment. But, I open my mouth to answer anyway, speaking of something I swore I'd never tell a soul.

"I dreamt about my dad."

Recap Over:

꧁ꨄ❦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❦ꨄ꧂

⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️
This chapter includes mention of self harm, abuse, drugs, and mentions of suicide. If you are harming yourself in any way, getting abused, or have thoughts of suicide or overdosing, please seek help or talk to someone and remember that you are not alone even if it may feel impossible

꧁ꨄ❦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❦ꨄ꧂

        A moment of silence passes by and I can feel my heart thundering in my chest. What are they thinking? What are they imagining? Are they judging me? Do they think I'm pathetic. Probably, I kind of am. No, I need to stop with all this self-deprecation. Still though, why aren't they saying anything?

    "Tell us about it," Todoroki whispers to me, looking at me with so much pain and sadness that I can tell he already knows that this isn't going to be a happy story.

    "I-I was eight years old in the dream... and, he was yelling at me, calling me worthless and saying he wished that I'd never been born. He blamed me for my mom leaving him, he blamed me for why he was miserable, he blamed me for everything. I-I tried t-to apologize, but that just made him angrier and he--he..." I trail off, feeling tears drip down my cheeks, my breath quickening again, my arms wrapping around my lower stomach, thinking about the scar hidden beneath my clothing.