Orange Juice

Chapter Twenty-Nine

 Even the lonely clouds of the summer stared down at Lizzy in pity as they passed her by during their journey in the dimming blue sky.

 There she sat in desolation without any substances to wash down the rising aches of her heart that begged to erupt. To most people, tears that trickled down their cheeks often came as temporary relief of all that was painfully pent up and trapped within. To Lizzy, all the tears she's ever cried did nothing but break her down further and further into shattered pieces beyond repair.

 The more she cried, the deeper she sank into vulnerability, the more she gave into her sorrowful emotions and the further it broke down the fake facade of strength she had spent all those years trying to build to conceal.

 And maybe the worst part was that this specific time as she sat on the rooftop of the garage watching the sun slowly bid its farewell for the day, it was not the feeling of weakness that decomposed her; it was the feeling of emptiness. That painfully stinging emptiness that numbed her so hard that it began to hurt.

 The aching feeling of longing for what could have been, the feeling of wishing and regretting what she could not control, and the feeling of missing and incompleteness. It was a hatred for the cruel universe and for the perfect plan it had written out to completely and strategically crumble her.

 Many would say that love is what defines us as human beings, which is somewhat funny when we realize how we humans can hardly even define love. It is an odd concept that cannot be fully defined yet cannot be fully denied either.

 Lizzy had almost grown sick of sitting in the sun. It almost felt cheap in comparison to her which had Lizzy thinking that perhaps in some way or another the sun itself was inspired by her darling and not the other way around. A star so bright, so warm and beloved and vibrant felt so dull without that dimpled smile.

 Lizzy hugged her knees to her chest, her chin tiredly laying on her crossed arms which felt colder than they actually were. She was so immersed in her own miserable line of thoughts that she failed to notice her twin brother climbing up the rusted ladder behind her.

 "Hey." he said as he slowly walked over, but she did not turn her head nor say a thing, only stared ahead.

 "...Can I sit?" he asked to which she just carelessly shrugged in return.

 Sash sat down beside her on the dusty floor of the garage roof with a plastic bottle of water in his hand. It took Lizzy a second to notice that he was extending it over in her direction.

 "No." she muttered in return.

 "I'm not offering you." Sash replied, "You need to drink, now take it."

 She sighed before sloppily taking the bottle in her hand and drinking from it. Only then did she realize how thirsty she actually was, which was only sensible considering how distracted and low on appetite to even drink or eat anything she had been.

 She passed him the bottle back and he chugged the rest of the water down before tossing it to the side. The twins sat in silence for a while, but each felt that silence differently; for Lizzy, it hurt while Sash was trying to search for a way to make that stop.

 "Why does this have to happen to me?" Lizzy lowly said, her voice hoarser than usual. "I know I'm not the best person out there...but why can't God just ignore me for a while?"

  She leaned back, shaking her head while swallowing down the lump that began to form in the top of her throat. Her eyes were getting glossy, shimmering under the faint golden glow of the sun as her voice began to get shakier, "I know I'm usually really really selfish, Sash, I know, but just this one thing. Just her. Why couldn't I just get her and then lose the rest but at least have her?"