Orange Juice

Chapter Thirty-One

 "Here." Sash extended a stolen bar of chocolate in his sister's direction. It had almost melted from the heat of the piercing summer and his tight jean pocket where he had slipped it in without anyone's notice.

 "Eat it." she replied monotonously from where she was tiredly plopped down on the nostalgic dirty mattress, drowning in her own sensible self-misery and poor hygiene.

 "No." he said as he opened the wrapper with his teeth before extending it to her once again.

 Lizzy did not move a muscle to take the chocolate from him.

 Sash huffed in frustration, "Goddammit Lizzy, eat the damn chocolate, you're gonna starve to death at this point."

 "I hope I do." she depressingly muttered under her breath while staring at the few vines that covered the high concrete ceiling which was at the verge of falling apart.

 "Shut up." he replied.

 "I really hope I do." she repeated breathily.

 "Shut up." Sash said, louder and firmer this time, "Now is the last time you should start to give up."

 "When's the right time then?" she fired back while straightening up, "When am I allowed to be sick of this and fucking die already? 'Cause it seems like I never can but I always want to."

 "That's because that's exactly what it is." he replied as he wrapped the melty chocolate back before placing it on the mattress.

 "What's the point?!" she said the words like a sigh of frustration, "What am I fighting for, he took everything from me, Sash."

 "You fight to take everything from him." he retorted in her face.

 "I don't care!" she cried while frustratingly standing up on the dusty floor, "All my life I've been running to get my sweet revenge at Don, at dad, at the men who hurt you at work, at the school, at the people who beat up Alya in the bathroom, at fucking everyone who has ever wronged us but it never works! They always live a fine life of champagne, legal marriage and sex while we fucking rot in that garage without nobody to even look at us, Sash!"

 Her face tinted red as she continued to heatedly complain, "We don't even have that garage anymore! We don't have a home, we don't have identities, we don't have protection for our lives and we certainly don't have the right to fall in love so what the fuck is the point?! What are we even alive for?"

 Sash avoided her gaze, his head dropping lowly to the floor with his eyes closed as he listened. The room went so silent that he could almost hear the dust particles floating in the air.

 "I'm not gonna sit here and tell you you're wrong. Because you're not." he quietly said each word at a slow pace, "You are going through the worst time of your entire life. And I can't give you optimistic reasons not to kill yourself like you gave me when I wanted to five years ago."

 Lizzy felt a lump form in her throat at the horrible nostalgia of that bitter memory. She bit down on her yellowed teeth to keep herself from breaking down and just listened to him as he continued to speak.

 "Lizzy..." he looked up at her and she could see that his stone blue eyes were beginning to tear up even through the darkness of the room, "I don't want to wake up, look from the roof and see my sister's body crushed in a puddle of her own blood. Let me be selfish this once so it could be the reason to hold you back."

 Lizzy felt her clenched jaw tremble as she watched a clear tear stream down his freckled face.

 "Life sucks, I know. Life is batshit terrible, I know. Just don't...not yet. I'm not that optimistic for the future but please." he begged desperately.