The Shadows Of Yesterday

The Shadows Of Yesterday {27}

I hardly slept that night, getting up when the sun started to peek through the curtains. I crept downstairs, unsurprised to see Cad was already awake and making himself coffee.

"Cup?" he offered me.

"Yes, please." It hurt to speak. My lip had swelled through the night.

Cad poured me a mug of coffee, passing it to me. "I've got a bagel down. You hungry?"

"No, thank you."

"Yea, figured you probably wouldn't feel hungry. Try to eat something light later on, at least, kid," Cad said.

"I'm not a kid." I tightened my hold on the mug, detecting the defensive tone of my voice. I bit back the urge to apologize and instead just took a sip of coffee.

"In a sense, you still are. So are my boys," Cad said.

Boys- I'd forgotten about Vin. If Seth hadn't shown up here, it meant either Vin didn't know I was here, or Vin had lied to him. The thought of that second option made my stomach twist a little. I couldn't bear to be responsible for making anyone else hurt Seth.

Cad seemed to realize what I was thinking. "My Vinny, he's something. Always had a tough time making friends. He's rough around the edges, but he's a good kid at heart. He was bullied a lot for his tic. Used to have a stutter, too. He thought getting mean right back was the way to make it stop when playing nice didn't help. He's never quite been able to turn off that defense mechanism. But he makes the right choices when it counts."

"Why did you and your wife divorce?" I asked, then winced. "No, sorry that was- that was out of line. Sorry. Just tired and not thinking clearly."

He raised an eyebrow. "We got divorced because it was the right thing to do. We got married because we were young and we were in love and we thought we'd live together forever. Didn't work out that way. Sometimes it doesn't. Love isn't a magical cure-all like the romantics want you to believe, Jeremy. Sometimes people care about each other, but that doesn't make them good for each other. My wife and I, we cared. A lot. But I started traveling for work all the time, and she started spending more money than we had, and things got messy. It was better for us, and for the boys, if we divorced."

"But you became a professor," I said.

"Yea, don't remind me," he grunted. "Sure, I settled down and stopped traveling, and she learned how to handle her finances better with some help from an aunt. No point in tending to a wound that already healed. We were over, but we were civil with each other and we tried to support each other. She took the boys during finals week so I could grade, I came to pick them up in the middle of the night so she could go help a friend. Life kept going, kid. It's got to. You don't have to hate someone just because things didn't work out. I was heartbroken when she died."

"Sorry, Cad. I didn't mean to..." I trailed off and shrugged. "Sorry."

"Nah." He glanced at me. "You don't know what happened between your parents, huh?"

"I have a...memory. Of a man. I don't know if it's real or not. I was always too afraid to ask mom if it was real," I said quietly. "I don't know if he left or she kicked him out. I don't know if he was ever around for me. I don't know, and I've never asked."

"I'm sorry. No kid should ever have to grow up like that. My parents weren't perfect, but my dad would've given his life for mine without hesitation," Cad said. He put a hand on my shoulder. "You've got a great mom from what I hear, though. I bet she'd hate to see the state of you right now. I know I do."

I didn't know how to respond to that. Cad cracked a smile.

"Yea, bad with affection. Got it," he said. "Still true, though."