Ivy (a bensler fanfic)

sixteen

Guys I'm back!!!!!

So I'm not gonna lie it's been a while since i've been in the headspace of the Ivy/SVU universe in fact I haven't even been watching the show, however I absolutely  love writing so please bare with me. I may not have the best luck with remembering little details that I've wrote in the past about so if I mess up please feel free to tell me I will not be mad for sure! Sunday's will continue to be my upload day and I'll try to be as active as I can! Alright I'm done babbling see you at the end!

Olivia watched as Amanda sat down by her side and grabbed her hand, Amanda and her had become extremely close over time and with their children only being a few years apart it was an even better way for them to get closer. "How's the baby?" She asked her, Olivia knew that Amanda was only asking her this to try and get her mind off of Elliot.

Olivia felt super guilty about not telling Elliot about the problems she was having for the past few weeks with the baby the truth was that she still had a big problem with asking for help and to be completely honest she was scared, at her age it was hard enough to have a healthy baby and when she started bleeding she almost tried to pretend it wasn't happening.

"The baby's fine, I had some problems with bleeding but they said that I was fine, my doctor wants me to make sure that I am drinking a lot of water and taking it easy but I should be home at the end of the day." Olivia responded. Amanda gave her hand a squeeze and opened her mouth to say something but the door opened and Elliot entered with Ivy's hand in his.

"Mommy!" Ivy called out and ran over to gave her a hug right before she would crash into Olivia's side Elliot called out for her to be easy. Ivy gave Olivia a light hug and then went over to sit in Amanda's lap. Elliot, Olivia, Amanda, Fin, Carisi and Ivy all sat in silence for a few moments before Fin walked over to Amanda and Ivy.

"Ivy how would you like it if me, Aunt Amanda and Uncle Carisi took you to get some ice cream?" He asked the young girl. Ivy immedietly sprung up out of her seat and nodded her head yes and went to give both her Mom and Dad a hug and kiss before leaving the two alone. It was silent for a few moments before Elliot finally spoke up.

"You know Olivia when you trusted me to be involved in Ivy's life I did everything in my power to make sure I could be the best Dad to her, I understand that with my older kids it looks bad, I wasn't in their lives as much as I should have been and that was an issue and that was my fault. I can't tell you how many baseball games, dance recitials, and class parties I missed because of work and I have always felt guilty about it, but I am a good father and I am a trustworthy father. Why did you not tell me about this?"

Olivia sighed lightly before responding, "El it wasn't that I didn't trust you, to be honest I was scared. I was scared that I was having a miscarriage or showing signs of something and my body just shut down, pretended it wasn't happening." She started to cry suddenly, "I want this baby so bad, I want a healthy baby to cudddle and raise with you and I was so scared that my dream was being crushed," She sobbed

Elliot rushed to her side then and wrapped her in a hug, "Liv everything is going to be okay," He whispered and then pulled away and brushed some of the hair out of her face, "Listen, you have to always tell me things, no matter how bad it is or how scary it is, promise?" She nodded and then he gave her a light kiss.

***

6 months later

Olivia groaned as the sound of Elliot's alarm went off, she was almost about to fall asleep when it went off for him to go to work. She listened to it blare for a few seconds before she began hitting his side, "El, alarm-" She grumbled and he groaned as he turned it off. She was 38 weeks and every day was suffering at this point. She forgot what it was like at this stage of the pregnancy, the baby could come at any day now and she was just praying it would be sometime soon.

Elliot was trying to help as much as he could but she was mad all the time, she couldn't eat anything, she could barley walk without her feet hurting and she never sleeps anymore, she's also home alone all day every day and that's also something that drives her insane.

Elliot mumbled that he was going to go shower and then disaperaed into the bathroom, she hated that she treated him so badly but he was getting too clingy and half the time was treating her like she was the baby and it was driving her nuts, she just wanted to give birth already so she would feel better.

Olivia pushed herself up to sit with her hands and then went into Ivy's room, she was covered with sweat, being this pregnant in the summer was also killing her, she was so hot all the time. She walked in and turned off Ivy's nightlight and turned on her her big light, Ivy was going to be 7 in just a few weeks and it was crazy, one thing she would definitely like to avoid is having the same birthday for her kids.

"Ivy honey wake up please,"  She really tried to keep herself calm with Ivy, she was a good girl and she didn't have many problems with her, she didn't ever wanna loose her cool with her daughter. Ivy grumbled a bit but she did get up.

Her daughter headed toward her bathroom to get herself ready while Olivia walked down to the kitchen, a few minutes later Elliot was down there with her, he was wearing his classic at this point which was dress pants and a button up, he gave her forehead a kiss before going to make himself some coffee. "Hey El?" She said softly and he looked up at her.

"Do you think maybe you could stay home with me today?" She asked him and he gave her that 'You know I would love to but I can't' look, but before he could say anything she began explaining, "El, this baby could be here any day now and you and I will never have time for that. Don't you remember? How much time did you and Kathy have together after Kathleen was born, trying to juggle two jobs and two kids?"

She hated bringing up Kathy, nobody likes to talk about their partners exes but she needed to prove her point to him, "I know that I haven't been the nicest lately, and I'm sorry about that, this pregnancy is taking it's tole on my body and I'm trying my best to be as understanding as I can. But when this baby comes you and I aren't gonna have time to do anything together, Ivy will be at school all day and then she has a play date with one of her friends after school, we could have the whole day just you and me."

She watched Elliot think for a minute before nodding, "You've convinced me."

***

Elliot called into work, telling them he had to stay home and take a personal day and then he took Ivy to school. Olivia stayed home and waited for him, she did her best to make their bed and do a couple dishes but at this point she could barley do anything without being exhausted, she's always been used to having a messy apartment.

When she lived alone she was hardly home enough to keep it clean, there was always piles of dishes, trash everywhere and clothes on the floors and then when she had Ivy, keeping up with a baby and herself  was hard enough, but sometimes she looked at the mess and felt ashamed.

But every time she did she reminded herself that every day after work she would come home and play with Ivy, they would watch movies and read books, play dress up and with dolls. She thought about other moms, who came home and cooked and cleaned and then went to bed, hardly ever having those moments with her children, she didn't want that. So what the dishes piled up? She didn't care, she always loved her moments with Ivy.

Elliot was back a few minutes later and joined her on the couch, he gave her a kiss on the forehead before just putting his arm around her. "I love Ivy, I love spending time with her, playing with her and being her Dad but part of me wishes that you and I could've been together before she was born, you know what I mean?" He spoke

Olivia knew exactly what he meant, she often felt the same way. Of course she was happy for this relationship, and to be a parent with Elliot but the two of them never got to experience dating before children, they never had that time together, "I know El, trust me I feel the same way. Sometimes I miss the years of us just hanging out in my old apartment and eating take out, I know we weren't together then, just friends but, sometimes I wish I could just go back there, just for a day."

Both of them sat in silence for just a moment before Olivia felt a gush down below and gasped, Elliot looked at her and then groaned feeling the wetness of the couch cushions, "Ivy spill something again?" He grumbled but Olivia just shook her head.

"My water just broke."

It's baby time! Bare with me if there are spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes, I just typed this up and posted it, didn't really edit it at all.