ɢᴇᴛᴀᴡᴀʏ ᴄᴀʀ, reader x tom riddle

13.

SEEING RIDDLE WITH MESSY HAIR BLINKING AT THE SUDDEN LIGHT CHANGED SOMETHING IN ME.

I swore to myself I would never ever like him, but at that moment my heart decided to beat faster and my cheeks decided to turn red and my hands started to sweat and my throat started to close up and my brain stopped functioning. Sometimes you fall for someone gradually. Sometimes you fall all at once. For me it was not realizing I was falling for him until it hit me like a bludger at full force and then I only realized something has changed when I woke up in the hospital wing after being unconscious for a week. Of course, I mean this metaphorically because I don't play quidditch, but it was so sudden and strong that no one could have seen it coming. I always saw Tom as my friend (and when I was younger and idol) but nothing more than that. I especially hated him after what he did to Theo, but now I don't think I can hate him. I know his actions aren't excusable, but he came from a troubled past and hasn't had anyone to ever guide him in life. It doesn't make what he has done right but it now it doesn't seem as bad.

I noticed the little things he did that made him more human. The times he was trying to hide a smile. The times he so desperately wanted to burst out laughing but didn't want to be seen as out of character. The times I would catch him glancing in my direction after someone we both hated said something idiotic. The times he would get so flustered and confused that he didn't have a clue on what to do next. The times when he would have this small smile and didn't think anyone would notice. The times he would go out of his way to do something for me because I was one of the few people he could call a friend. The times when he would devote himself to something he was passionate about.

I think that over time these little things he did wormed themselves into my heart and now it was too late to dig them out. I was completely infected by the boy standing in front of me and the worst part is that he could never feel the same way about me. It was physically impossible for him to. That's why I had so desperately tried to close off my heart from him because I knew it would only result in my crying my eyes out for days. What's the point in loving someone who can't love you back?

Riddle stood there staring at me, waiting for me to say something. I willed my vocal cords to make a noise but I couldn't. Instead, the realization that I was in love with a boy who couldn't love me back hit me and I started to sob. The tears wouldn't stop falling even though I tried to stop. He just stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do. I don't think he had ever seen anyone cry before.

I had just been setting up a surprise that I had been preparing for his birthday and now I was standing there crying in front of him. I don't know what's worse. The fact I was in love with him or the fact I was embarrassing myself in front of him. Eventually, he pulled me into his room and shut the door behind me. He sat me down on his bed while he sat at his desk chair observing me. I can't even begin to describe how awkward and uncomfortable everything was.

"So," He began, scratching his neck. "What are you doing up so early?"

"I was preparing something for your birthday." I responded, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

Tom's face froze for a moment before it returned back to normal. "You remembered my birthday?"

"I remember basically everything you've ever told me." I laughed pathetically, looking everywhere but at him.

The room was silent for a while. We sat there wondering who would be the first to say something.

"No one has ever done something to celebrate my birthday before." His voice sounded hoarse and when I looked up, his eyes looked slightly teary. It must have been a trick of light because the next second he looked normal.