A killer love

Part nine

TW- Self hate, intrusive thoughts

Remus bounced in place. His latest book had gotten approved and they were making copies now. He went over to his phone, calling Virgil. It rung and rung till it went to the auto answer, and Remus frowned.

I'll call you soon, a bit busy

Virgil texted, Remus frowned.

Bit busy getting dick I bet

He replied sourly, he huffed, looking at the other contacts, and realizing the only other friend, was Logan even a friend? Was he something more? Remus shook himself out, clicking the call for Logan. It rung twice, before it was hung up. Remus stopped short, trying to text instead.

Sorry- is this a bad time?

Remus frowned, waiting for a reply. He looked around his kitchen, seeing how bare it really was. He never cooked, only ever Virgil. And even that was rare. Remus blinked away the tears forming. He never really realized just how lonely he truly was... It was stupid anyways, Remus didn't have to constantly go around showing off his compliments as if he was a child still. It doesn't even matter, the book is going to fail anyways. Remus sniffled, grabbing his phone and leaving for the couch.

"I know..." he whispered heartbrokenly. He curled up, grabbing a blanket and caccooning into the warmth. He sniffled, blinking away his tears, looking at his phone blankly. Such a whine ass

"I know..." he whispered once more, letting his phone fall to the couch. So utterly useless, this book will fail, you'll end up on the streets, Virgil hates you, Logan hates you, hates you hates you hates yo-

Remus' phone buzzed with a notification. How long had it been?

Want to hang out?

Logan wrote. Remus blinked in surprise. He doesn't care about you, he's messing with your head Remus hesitated, watching the next text roll in.

I have a few things to take care of before we do if you'd like to, once those are done I'm perfectly free for the day however.

Yeah, we can hang out. What's the plan for it-?

Logan didn't text for quite awhile, leaving time for Remus to excessively worry and also to take a nice long shower, in hopes to de-stress. As he was putting on his beanie to cover his wet hair, his phone buzzed once, twice, three times. He scoffed to himself.

"Ain't I just mr popular" he grumbled. He checked them, looking over Virgil's text.

Dude no- I'm just doing work for once- I'll call you soon ok? Promise

Remus frowned, but sent back an ok as he walked back to his makeshift cocoon on the couch, checking the text.

I'm unfortunately coming into town in the next week, and that means I have to hang out with you

Remus snorted.

Love you too Ro, I'll get the extra room ready

Thank you Remus

Remus sighed, he wasn't opposed to the idea of Roman coming around. But the two rarely even talked, let alone saw each other. He shook his head softly, looking at the last text.

Sorry about that, how about we go on a walk? Near the park we met at?

That sounds good, I'll be there in a bit

Remus smiled brightly, getting up and putting shoes on, slipping his keys into his pocket, before leaving and getting on the next bus to town.

Remus sat anxiously in the park, curled up on a bench, fear making him tremble. Or maybe it was the biting wind of late fall. He didn't know the difference at the moment, his only thought of Where is Logan. He sighed out a deep breath, scanning the entrances again, not finding the man he thought was going to meet him.

Where is he, he left you, he abandoned you, he doesn't like you, he-

Shaking, Remus stood, heading for his coffee shop. Nothing bad could happen there. It was warm and safe and made him calm.

He's gone, he doesn't care for you, he's tricking you, he hates you-

Tears brimming at the edges of his eyes like water ready to spill over an overfilled glass's edge, he walked out of the park and went to his cafè. He sat in his usual seat, trying to get his tears and emotions under control.

It's warm

He's dead

Can you smell the coffee?

He's bleeding out in the park

Smell the coffee...

He's waiting for you and thought you ditched him

He's mad at you

Remus gripped at his hair, looking down at the table.

He-

"Shut up..." Remus whispered to himself, it did little to stop the thoughts, but regardless, he thought it helped. His phone buzzed and he sighed, grabbing it from his pocket.

Are you at the park yet? I don't see you

Remus stared at the text, sniffling.

Yeah, sorry

No need to apologize

Remus stared at Logan's text for a moment, before getting up, going to the cafè's bathroom to make sure he looked ok. Ultimately, his eyes were red and there was no way around it. He sighed, scrubbing at his eyes. He glanced at himself in the mirror one last time before leaving, walking back to the park. He found Logan reading on a bench, just like the first time. He shivered a bit, walking over. Logan looked up and smiled.

"Well hello there" Logan said lightly, closing his book. "You look very nice," Logan hummed, standing with a soft smile. Remus smiled softly as well, looking up at Logan. Logan paused. "Have you been crying?" He asked quietly, wiping under Remus' eyes. He tensed, looking away.

"You look good too" Remus mumbled, the hair on his arm standing up at the cold wind that rustled the leaves, threatening to mess Logan's perfectly slicked back hair up. Logan frowned, brushing his thumb over Remus' cheek.

"You were crying" Logan said. Remus nodded, leaning slightly into Logan's warm hand.

"It's ok, got something in my eyes" He whispered. Logan frowned, but nodded, pulling away.  Remus had to stop himself from reaching out and taking Logan's hand.

"I'm here for you if you wish to talk..." He told him genuinely. Remus nodded.

"I know" He said. Liar