I Deposited Money, He Withdrew My Heart

Chapter 16

Hey guys!! Just a warning, this is a super short chapter, but I couldn't think of what else to add and it ended in a good spot. Plus I just wanted to update cuz I felt guilty that I haven't updated in ages!!

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Nothing is worse than the wait for the text from Julian telling me where and when to meet him. Finally, at exactly 2.17pm, my phone dings. It's a very basic message, telling me to meet him at my workplace at 3pm.

Though it makes no difference, I try and dress up a little bit, if only to know I'll look ok when my heart gets broken again.

I'm early, and I sit at an outside table in the corner with a cappuccino while I wait. When he does arrive, it seems that neither of us know what to do. He stands awkwardly for a second before taking the seat across from me.

I grip my coffee mug before saying, "I ordered you tea. I know it's your favourite." I stop myself from saying anything else. And then right on cue, Mara brings out the cup of tea.

While he adds sugar and milk, I sit in awkward silence. I don't think I should be the one to talk first - there's probably a lot of things he wants to say.

After he takes a sip of his tea, his eyes finally meet mine. "I can't believe I'm sitting here in front of you, after everything that's happened," he says, shaking his head.

My chest tightens, and I feel all of the emotions from the last day I saw him come back. "Julian, I-"

"Just let me talk," he says, interrupting me. He licks his lips and twirls the cup of tea around in his hands. "I thought Will was one of my closest friends, and I thought you really cared about me."

I want to tell him that I did, that I still do, but I stay quiet.

"The past couple of months, I've tried to sit down with Will and sort all of this out - for the sake of the band and the other guys. It's not perfect, but it's better than it was," Julian explains, still looking lost in his own head before sighing. "So now I need to sort things out with you."

He shakes his head. "You really hurt me Joc. I mean, I'd never had a serious girlfriend before, and I really cared about you, and I thought everything was perfect. And then, you came and told me... that! That you just kissed someone else. And one of my closest friends at that. I just felt like if I couldn't trust you, then who could I trust?" Again he sighs, his face coming up to try and rub the worry away.

"I had to sort things out with Will, because I have to see him all the time, and we want this music thing to work." Finally Julian looks up and stares me dead in the eyes. "But I don't have to see you every day. I could just forget about you and never see you again. Never speak to you again."

His words rip straight through me, tearing me in half. This is what he came to say? He came to tell me that he's going to forget about me?

"But I can't, and that's the problem." Julian's face softens just the slightest. "As much as I just want to move on and forget everything about you, I can't. I think about you all the time, nonstop. I sing love songs and I think about how happy we were, I sing sad songs and I think about how broken up I am. I see a girl walking down the street and I swear it's you. I hear someone call my name and I hope that it's you."

Julian looks devastated as he sits in front of me. "I can't move on, Joc. And it scares me because the rational side of me says that I shouldn't have anything to do with you, that I shouldn't trust you. But everything else in me is screaming that I can't be away from you.

"But I have to know that I can trust you. I can't go through all this again." His eyes are practically begging, and I know that it's my time to say something.

"Julian, I could never hurt you ever again," I say, my voice cracking. "That's what the worst part of all this was - knowing that I hurt you. I didn't care about myself, I didn't care about Will. I was so angry at myself that I could do something so stupid and ruin everything between us."

I want to smile, because it feels like everything is going to be fine again. But Julian and I just sit there quietly, deep in thought, our faces trying to mask whatever emotions it is that are running through our bodies.

"What do we do?" I ask in a whisper.

Julian's dark eyebrows knit together as he thinks for a moment. "We start again."