A safer place

chapter eight

warning!
this is a follow up for the last chapter, and contains panic attacks as well as wetting and slight bullying.

Billy woke up the next day, sleepily rubbing his eyes as he sat up, but his eyes widened in shock as he felt the damp fabric of his pants cling to his legs.
The blond ripped the sheets off himself, to examine the damage.

He felt tears prickle in his eyes as he realised he had wet the bed for the first time in ages.
His dad was going to absolutely kill him if he found out-
Billy had a bed wetting problem for a long time after his mother left them, but Neil Hargrove had basically beaten it out of him.

And now, Billy had woken up in wet sheets again, and even though he knew it was his dads fault for injuring him the day prior, he felt horrible.
Silent tears streamed down his face as he pressed his lips together tightly to not make any noise.
The boy got up, shivering in fear and disgust for himself, and pulled the sheets off the bed, throwing them into his laundry basket.

Luckily, he had to do his own laundry, so there was no way anyone would notice if he was being quick.
Once Billy made sure the basket was hidden under his desk and his bed was freshly covered in new sheets, he peeled himself out of his soiled pants, internally cursing himself out.

Being in a small headspace to cope was one thing, but also having the body control of a toddler? He hated himself for it.

A thought flashed through Billy's mind, but he quickly shook it off, too embarrassed to give it actual consideration.
Looking over at the clock, Billy realised it was already a little past 5am, so there was no use in going back to sleep, and he would actually be able to shower before anyone could walk into him at this hour.

So Billy went to do just that, grabbing a new pair of sweatpants from his closet before leaving the room and making his way over to the bathroom.
He took a quick shower, scrubbing off the shame along with his bodily fluids, pulling pained faces as he accidentally brushed against a bruise on his arm.

After he got out of the shower, he dried himself off and got dressed in only the pants, throwing the shirt and sweats he had slept in in his laundry basket once he got to his room again.

Billy sat down on the bed with a sigh, thinking about the items Max had bought the day prior.
He didn't want to wear diapers, especially not in school, but wetting himself in class would be a lot worse, especially if he would wear loose jeans today so no one could tell.

Deciding that he preferred being safe over being sorry, the blond pulled the pack of pull-ups from under his bed, taking one out and once again debating if he should actually do it.
With a sigh, he pulled his pants down and put on the pull-up on, cringing slightly at the crinkle sounds that it made.

„I'm going to kill myself if anyone sees this" he muttered, searching through his closet to pick out an outfit for the day.
He chose a red button up and washed out jeans that weren't tight around his bottom so no one would notice anything.

Once Billy was dressed, he looked himself up and down in the mirror, but he didn't notice the pull-up whatsoever, so he let it go, still a bit nervous.
Before hiding the package under his bed again, he grabbed another one, shoving it down to the bottom of his bag, as well as the baby powder and wipes in case he needed to change himself, because there was no way he would sit in a soiled diaper for longer than he had to.

There was a knock on his door and Billy just managed to push the package under his bed before the door opened slightly and Max peaked her head inside.
„Morning Bills, are you okay?" she yawned, looking at him with tired eyes.

„Yeah- I just woke up early" he lied, laughing slightly at Max's bed head.
„Go brush your hair Max, you look like a mop" he chuckled, Max flipping him off as she left his room again.