Trepidation || Wanda Maximoff

55|I Can't

Riley's POV
I have lost track of how long i have been here, they feed me very inconsistently. As soon as they think I'm growing to weak they give me a larger meal to try and keep me stronger to be able to fight.

I have learnt more about why they are training me in the way they are. Hydra wants me to become the new Winter soldier. They want me to fight for them, under their control, with no memory of who I am, who I am fighting, who I love. They don't want to brain wash me too early though. They want me to have good ability to fight before they do anything like that as they aren't sure what will happen. I think they are planning on starting erasing my memory in the next few weeks.

I think I am training for longer today, they want to make sure I am complete ready. They took some more of my blood this morning. They take enough so that its not dangerously low but its not exactly what it should be.

I hardly ever speak now, I spend most of my time fighting or being tortured, they torture me more if I scream so I have to stay as quiet as I can, I am never told to reply to anything and I am never allowed to look at anyone anymore, I just have to look to the floor, or avoid looking in certain directions.

I am miserable, my existence is pitiful and my hope has been destroyed.

Sometimes I think I hear someone's voice, like Wanda's or Peter's but its normally just one of the guards. My mind is so desperate its tricking my senses, even itself. Sometimes Hydra pulls cruel tricks on me where they play a recording of The Avengers and their voices, or stage an attack making me think someone is here to rescue me. They have began to do that more frequently, playing videos and audio as if it was outside my cell. I have learnt not to move or I will be punished for having the hope.

I enter the training room ready to fight more people but am met with something different. "Are you ready, you will be fighting this lion that we managed to get. Hydra knows people and we can pull some strings. You have to kill it or we will do it for you. This is more of a test to see how willing you are, this loin has been modified by Hydra to be more powerful and as you have only faced humans you need a change, something more unpredictable" General Albrecht informs me, I look up and see the lion, it looks strong and powerful but in so much pain. Hydra has probably treated it terribly. I feel a harsh slap across my face as the sound echos across the room. "DO NOT LOOK ME IN THE EYE, AND GET STARTED!" he screams, I get into a fighting position as the lions chained are dropped and it charges towards me. The lion must be hungry and has probably been made aggressive by Hydra.

I attack back and quickly kill it but not before our manages to get its claws into my side, I can feel blood drip down my torso as the wound is on my side around the middle of my torso over my ribcage just below where my bra ends at my left side

I wince as I touch the area. I am taken away from the training room and know where I am going next.

I am chained to the weight and the water level begins to rise. I am in the tank again.

"You got injured, from a beast that you should have been able to kill quickly and easily. I saw you hold back, I know you were trying to find a way to kill that lion in a painless way. You shouldn't have done that. You will now face the pain you took away from that creature" Madame Dietrich announces. I just stand there as the water fills.

I stay under the water for as long as I can before swimming up and taking a deep breath in. After having many experiences with this i know what to do. I need to try and conserve my energy, for as long as possible. I also need to not wait too long before breathing but long enough that its not a waste of time and energy.

I struggle as my limbs cramp as fatigue sets in, its always this part that makes you want to die but the urge to breathe fights back. My head feels like its going to explode, my mouth fillet with water only to have it coughed out as soon as I manage to reach the surface. It goes on forever. My vision blurs, my legs cramp so much that I have to try and use only my arms to get up and just take another breath.

I am going to die here, I am not going to make it out alive.

My eyes close as I give in and let myself drown, I know that Hydra wont save me until the designated time is up, not even if I'm going to die. 'Do I want to die?' I think 'No, i don't. I want to keep going just a Little longer, one more bloody breath' so that's what I do, I swim to the surface and take one more breath. My lungs burn from the lack of oxygen as do my muscles, my wound stings like I am being attacked by wasps every few seconds. My head feels like its going to burst, fulminate, explode out of my skull and drip out of my ears and into the tank. That may not be possible but its what it feels like.

I swim to the surface only to find the water level decreasing. It's over.

As soon as the chain around my ankle is released I am taken, dragged into the chair. Electricity surges though me, I let out a lout, pain filled scream. My muscles twitch as the electricity shoots through them, My head pounds as my body burns, my body feels weak and I can hear my heart beating as if it's going to rip though my ribcage and chest and land on the floor. I let out a quiet whimper once the pain is over.

"You know to stay silent" General Albrecht announces, I can't move to make any sort of response as my limbs feel numb and weak yet full of pain.

He grabs the fire torch and goes over my wound, I scream loudly and repeatedly as he grabs a knife and goes over the wounds again with the knife making them deeper. My whole torso burns with pain as I writhe trying to get away. The pain is mind numbing, agonising, excruciating.

Eventually it stops and I am taken back to my cell, still bleeding out. The door is closed and locked. In my numb, pain-filled state I can hear the guards running around seemingly distressed. One of them shouts something about needing reinforcements. I hear the many footsteps running through the corridors but I think nothing of it, maybe they had another lion and it escaped. I manage to get up and rip some fabric from a jumper to wrap around my wound tightly to stop myself bleeding out.

I know I am very bruised and probably have many, many scars littering my body, along with the one on my face, over my eye. I can feel it with my finger, if I trace over my left eye.

I sit in the corner leaning against the wall and slowly drift to sleep still in lots of pain and fearing what will happen to me next.

My eyes shoot open as the door to my cell is kicked down. I stay tucked in the corner of the room my eyes are full of fear and my body portrays that too. I have already been in the tank, been attacked by a lion, been electrocuted and has my wounds made deeper, what more do they want.

"Please" I whimper "I'm sorry, I already did all you asked. I can't do anymore" I say quietly, my voice broken just like every other part of me. My eyes squeeze shut, the guards usually like to torture me and I don't want them to do it again, they beat me up and attack me with whips, I cant take anymore, not today. I am in so much pain and don't know how much more I can take.

I can hear steps echo around the room but I just stay in the corner, my eyes closed. Normally i am brave, normally I don't do this but after the day I have had I can't keep up that brave front. "please, I-I can't deal with any more pain, I've already had my punishments, please, leave me alone"