Single But Engaged ✔️

36: Hell, he despised you!

                                 ***Aiden***

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In a way, of everyone in my family aside from Emma, my grandma was the one I enjoyed talking with the most.

Sounds crazy, right? But it’s true.

Growing up, I’d always been surrounded by silence. Words were used sparsely – almost as though we were scared of speaking. Or perhaps, we were scared of speaking too much, of saying something that’d reveal the cracks we so desperately sought to cover up. 

Bright smiles with uneasy eyes, emotionless hugs which lasted long enough to give the image of marital bliss – all of it silent, but at the same time, saying a lot more than words ever could.

It was like that for a long time until…my grandma.

When we moved in with her, I was almost fascinated by how much she spoke. She never held anything back – there was no hesitation, no thinly veiled undertones between her words, she said things as she meant them. It was a big difference from what I was used to.

And somehow, her influence rubbed off on me, so that soon, I learnt how to speak too. I learnt to counter, to question, in the same way she did to us. And thus, began our constant vocal battle of wills. Though frustrating, it was also strangely freeing – being able to express whatever you wanted without hesitation.

Yet, there was still a small part of myself which was never really able to break out of that silence of my past. Thoughts not matching words, feelings not matching actions – I still had a few moments like that.

And right now, was one of such moments. Unspoken fears translating into half-baked words, waving bye instead of reaching out, and eventually watching the only good thing in your life disappear into the distance. 

So, as I returned inside now, I wasn’t at all enthusiastic about being faced with mom and Emma – with mom still in concern mode about Aria’s ‘family issue.’ 

And someone else seemed to have concerns of their own as well. “What is this I’m hearing about Aria leaving?” 

At the newest addition to the room, the mood suddenly took a shift in that way it did whenever she was around. My rising irritation was proof. 

She, however, was in her interrogation mode. “Why was I not informed of this?”

“Well, there was no time to do that, Leah. It was…”

Of course, that was mom. She was now proceeding to explain what happened –  well, more like what I told her happened. 

By the time she was done, my grandma was giving a slow nod of her head. Yet, I knew that wasn’t the end of the matter.

“Aiden, why aren’t you saying anything about this?” She queried, eyeing me sharply – her usual look actually. 

Hence, like the other times before, I was completely unfazed by it. “And what exactly would you like me to say? Given how you love plans, I’m guessing you have some lines prepared for me to say.” There was an exaggerated note of sweetness in those words, which was made satisfying by the knowledge of how much it annoyed her.

And it was clear from the tightening of her jaw, half gritting now, as she said, “don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean. You don’t think it’s only right that you should be the one explaining why your fiancée left? Or is it that you just don’t care enough to explain anything to me?”