⚠️BTW this has a lot of sussy incorrect quotes, dirty jokes, swearing,⚠️
Reminder: these are all randomly generated and not written by me. Thank you.
have fun reading sussy ppl ☺😉📸
Hailey: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Jake: Wow. They sound stupid.
Hailey: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Jake: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Hailey: I guess you’re right. Hey Jake, I love you.
Jake: See! Just say that!
Hailey: Holy fucking shit.
Jake: If that flies over their head then, sorry Hailey, but they're too dumb for you.
Hailey: Jake.
Jake: Bro-
Hailey: No, no, hold up, rewind.
Hailey: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??
Hailey: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...
Jake: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
Hailey: Holy moly-
Jake: This date is boring!
Hailey: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
Jake: Then why did you invite me?
Hailey: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Hailey I'll do whatever I want!
Hailey: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.
Jake: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Hailey, already taking off their clothes: God, Jake, you’re so fucking stupid.
Hailey: Go fuck yourself.
Jake, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch
Jake: I’m in love with you.
Hailey: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Jake: I know.
Hailey: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-
Hailey: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.
Jake: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?
Hailey: Seize the dick.
Hailey walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Jake, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
Jake, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)
Jake: Talk dirty to me, baby~
Hailey: The dishes.
Jake: Wh-
Hailey: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.
Jake: Can you cut me some slack, Hailey? I’m sort of in love.
Hailey: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.
Jake: I’m in love with you.
Hailey: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.
Jake: I'm bored, any suggestions?
Hailey: Sleeping is nice
Jake: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I'm deciding to ignore it.
Jake: strawberry milk doesn't taste like strawberry OR milk.
Hailey: go tf to sleep Jake.
Hailey: If I was married to you, I would put poison in your coffee.
Jake: If I was married to you, I'd drink it.
Hailey: Why are you doing this?
Jake: Same reason I do everything, Hailey. To get somebody to like me.
Jake: Hailey is not a morning person. Or a night person. There's really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.
Hailey: The best part is you never know when they're coming.
Jake: Look, last night was a mistake.
Hailey: A sexy mistake.
Jake: No, just a regular mistake.
Hailey: why shouldn't you put a toaster a bathub full of water?
Jake: because your toast would get soggy!
