Sorry it's short, I ran out of incorrect quotes lmao (might update tho if i find some more ahahahaha)
⚠️Lil bit of swearing and sussy stuff (not too sussy tho dw)⚠️
Jake: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.
Hailey: This is a lie.
Hailey: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.
Hailey: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.
Hailey: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Jake: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Hailey: But you’re always acting stupid?
Jake: ...
Jake: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
Hailey: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Jake: I wrote you a poem.
Hailey, already crying: You did?
Hailey: I like your new pants!
Jake: Thanks, they were 50% off!
Hailey: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*
Jake: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.
Hailey: Thats’s… not what I meant.
Jake: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Hailey.
Hailey: I want to kiss you.
Jake, not paying attention: What?
Hailey: I said if you die, I wont miss you.
Jake: I feel like doing something stupid.
Hailey: I’m stupid, do me.
Jake: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.
Hailey: Marry me.
Hailey: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Jake: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Hailey: Stop.
Jake: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Hailey: Peonies, why?
Jake:
Hailey: Were you going to get me flowers?
Jake:
Hailey:
Jake: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ
Jake: We have a problem.
Hailey: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.
Jake, throwing their head into Hailey's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Hailey, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
Jake: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Hailey: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Jake: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Hailey: Is it working?
Jake: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Hailey: Mind your language!
Jake: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Hailey:
Jake: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Jake: Can I bother you for a second?
Hailey: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.
