Goodbye (Eddie Munson)

I'm Sorry

5: I'm sorry

⚠️°⚠️°⚠️ S.H warning

"As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you. I won't hurt you."

⚠️°⚠️°⚠️

"Now when daddy says come here, you come." I swallowed hard with my eyes wide as he hovered over me now. He wasted no time in connecting out lips, his soft plump lips tasted of beer and cigarettes. Just as Billy's. My mind started flickering to Billy, I pictured Eddie to be him. I feel guilty for it, but I don't.

I moaned into the kiss grabbing the back of his head, grabbing a fist full of hair as I tugged slightly. I use to do this to Billy and it drove him mad. It wasn't before long before we were panting, our makeout session getting hot and heavy.

"What do you want?" He asked breaking the kiss. His eyes searching mine, his brown eyes were lovely. I touched his face caressing his cheek smiling a little.

"Fuck me." I had no time for anything as he grabbed my shirt pulling it over my head, then the same with his. Our lips connect again, heated as our tongues fought for dominance.

"Replacing me so soon." My eyes snapped open, I pushed Eddie off me fast. Billy's voice ringing in my head repeating those words.

"Did I hurt you?" Eddie asked fast, worried as I covered my top less body with my arms. Getting off the bed fast.

"No! No its not you, it's me." I throw my shirt on.

"With him, really now? Lowered your standards, Vanessa." I see Billy's face replacing Eddie's for a moment before it turned back into Eddie. He was looking at me worried.

"I just, I'm... sorry." I began to breath heavy, my eyes watering. I quickly began walking to the door throwing it open as my breathing was picking up. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I was whispering to myself as I began to cry running out the door fast.

"Vanessa!" He shouted as I walked fast to my trailer. I went to my bedroom fast locking the window and door. I hear him knocking on the front door shouting before walking into the trailer.

"Darlin, I'm right here. You don't need him, don't let me catch you again." Billy crouched infront of me pointing a finger at me as his face twisted in pure anger. I felt like I just cheated on him, but that's not close to the truth. He's dead.

"You're dead." I nearly shout at the apparition I was seeing.

"Vanessa let me in." I hear Eddie's gentle voice behind my bedroom door.

"You will lose me forever, I swear to God." Its like I could feel his breath on me. I crawled over to my dresser getting in the bottom drawer, I pulled out a small pink tin. With in the tin held my blades, a lighter, and some pills that make me high as hell. I pulled the blade out starring at it.

"Damn it Vanessa." I hear Eddie's voice outside the window as he tried to lift it. I got up fast throwing a blanket over the curtain rod of the window making my room darker. "Please talk to me." He begged outside.

I closed my eyes tightly getting up from the floor unlocking my room as I rush to the bathroom just as Eddie was coming in again. "Fuck!" He shouted as I slammed the door and locked it in his face.

"I'm okay!" I tell him as I look in the mirror at myself. Behind me I see Billy, I held the razor to my stomach. I made two small cuts, before making one on my wrist to match it. The more I made the faster Billy disappeared. I didn't want him to leave but he was haunting me, this use to happen when he first died, why was it happening again? Is it guilt for kissing another guy? It can't be because I kissed Steve, I mean Billy gave me and Steve permission. Why did I feel so guilty, was it because I was moving on from him by finally letting myself feel for someone else?