The Comeback

Chapter Nineteen

Renee

"Renee." I hear Roman croak through the bathroom door. My head still in my knees as I feel the tears roll down my cheeks.

I have never been one for self-pity, but in this moment I don't want to care. My heart feel's broken, my self-respect feels non-existent. I didn't quite realise how much of my self-worth relied on my relationship with Lewis. I couldn't lie and say that I didn't feel a sense of pride that we had both been together for so many years, faced so many trials and tribulations, knowing that we both came on top of everything. For so many years, Lewis had always been my priority. I had always worked for us, for our future. 

So many moments flashed through my mind where I turned down jobs and opportunities. I had been offered chances to travel abroad and work with children in Africa, educating them on women's rights or even going to seminars in the US working with colleges to develop similar charities similar to ones that me and Roman were currently heading. I remember my excitement when I would approach Lewis, only for him to dampen my win by telling me that I was too focused on my career and that he couldn't bear for me to me away from him. 

I remember my heart used to flutter at the thought. He truly was everything I wanted in a partner, he had supported me through some of the hardest moments of my life. Losing my parents, my grandparents dying. Without him, I truly felt alone in the world. He was my rock that I leaned on and I was always there for him when he struggled to make his dream into a career. I always pushed him and helped him as much as I could. Now those sweet memories, seemed sour. They were tainted with his betrayal and my heartbreak. I couldn't help but feel like a weak woman. 

I could feel the words form in my throat but they just couldn't escape my lips. I didn't have the strength to answer Roman. I wanted to stay in this cubby bathroom for the rest of my life and simply cower away. Slip into an abyss and disappear from the world and my problems that just seemed to be mounting on top of each other. 

Jack's words seemed to race through my mind. A small part of me was hoping it was a one off, that it only happened once. That it truly was a mistaken. It's not like I could forgive him for that mistake anyway, it just would have felt better. To have a full on affair, is something that I just can't comprehend. The pain in my chest just seemed to get heavier and heavier. 

The main thing I can't seem to grasp is what Lewis saw in Liza for him to develop such a relationship with her. She caused so much pain to Roman and her children that it didn't make sense why he would even begin on this path with her. I couldn't help but clutch my phone in my hand. A small part of me wanted to call him and find out why her of all the people in the world. But, I just couldn't seem to bring myself to turn it on and face the world. I knew that Roman had sent an out of office alert for me, he didn't even need to explain to our employees why I wasn't working as it was pretty clear that I would be dealing with my cheating husband. I probably looked like a fool to the world. 

 "Roman..." I croaked out. "Why her? Why her of all people? He knew what you went through. Then why would he even get involved with that woman." I sniffed. 

"What do you mean Ree'? Lewis knows what happened between me and Liza?" Roman said in disappointment. My heart pounds with guilt at his words, knowing that he was upset that I had shared his secrets with someone he would have never disclosed them with with. 

"I promise you Ro' I didn't tell him any details. I would never betray your trust like that. All he was that she was a class bitch with a tendency to be crazy and irrotational. He knew I got myself involved in your court proceedings, it wasn't something I could hide from him." I sobbed. "He always used to beg me to tell him and when I refused he used to get annoyed and irritated with me." I sighed out as I pushed my head against the tiled bathroom wall. 

"I believe you Ree', you know I do." Roman reassured me. A silence blankets us and all that can be heard is my sobs and his breathing. It's weird even though I can't feel him physically. I can sense him emotionally. I can hear his deep breaths that are laboured and controlled. It's almost as if I can feel his pain too.

"How bad is it Roman?" The words were sounded so hoarse. 

"Ree.." He whispers. 

"It's bad isn't it? That's why you won't answer me." I respond helplessly.

"Yes." He admitted. 

"I thought the first load of pictures were bad, but let's just say I saw far too much of Lewis in the second load... Jack has enough for you to get a divorce and take him to the cleaners while you are at it."

I can't help but let out a dark chuckle. I knew Jack's dad was a well informed man and he was efficient but I didn't realise he was that quick. Honestly I didn't know what to say, or what to do, but the one thing I was certain was that whatever information Jack had was nothing but the truth. 

"What evidence does he have Roman?" I sighed out, the tears seemed to have stopped as a numbness consumed my body. 

"I don't think your ready to see that yet Ree'. It's not good and I don't want you to be more hurt than you already are." He huffed out in frustration. 

I look down at my phone knowing that I need to face the world sooner or later and I can't run away from the problem. The longer I leave it, the more clueless I am going to be. I push the button and my phone switches on. It takes a moment but before I can even take a deep breath. The notifications start rolling in. Google alerts, personal messages from friends, instagram notifications roll in. 

With shaky fingers, I click the first notification which takes me to the newest article relating to my not-so wonderful ex-husband to be. There he is with the smile that I once believed was for only me. There he is, with his arm wrapped around Liza. Her ice blonde hair flowing down her shoulders as she presses her red lips against his cheek, in an intimate shot of the pair. As I scroll through the article and there is a blurred out image of him and Liza on a hotel room with her legs wrapped around his waist, he is covering her and all that can be seen his long black, his longer part covered by a white sheet. Not many people would be able to recognise him from that angel. However, there at the corner of his lower back where a small tattoo resides. The same tattoo that I have rubbed over in the last few days. The Yin symbol which completes my Yang tattoo which is on the opposite hip. 

I simply chuck my phone on the floor and take a deep inhale of breath and run my hand through my hair. 

"Roman..." I sigh. 

"Yeah Ree?" He responded in a questioning tone. 

"Sitting in here really isn't going to solve anything. Can we just get go out and get hammered?"