The Comeback

Chapter Thirty-One

Renee

There is no lesson on how you deal with pain or disappointment. Everyone reacts differently. Some people are strong willed and able to handle the pain, so they deal with it in a mature response. Then there are other people, who ignore what is happening around them, deciding to hide away in their shell, pretending that everything is alright. Finally there are people who just can't cope or deal with the pain, they turn to drugs or alcohol, they may even develop poor mental health. 

I was always of the perception that everyone had mental health. Maybe that's just my social work background talking. I always detested the people who asked questions like "Do you have any mental health?" Well of course they do, everyone does! Sometimes it good for people and sometimes adversity hits and it isn't so great. The way we question people about their mental health needs to change because it only increases the stigma. 

Why are these thoughts running through my mind? Well simple, I think I am pretty close to having a break down. I never wanted to be in the public eye, I hated the thought of being watched by thousands of people. The thought of everyone scrutinising my every action. It was one of the many reasons why I did not chose the path of a public figure. Even if I was friends and working with Roman, I sat in the background as I never liked the spotlight. When Lewis decided he wanted to become a world-renowned DJ. I still chose to take a backseat. 

Now my whole life is open to scrutiny. I didn't care what people thought about me but I couldn't help but feel heartbroken over the comments that people were making about my life. The anger I had for Liza was slowly replaced with this overwhelming pain that lingered in my chest. Especially with news that she is pregnant again. The worst part is that my husband is the one who has impregnated her. 

I don't even know what to do about Lewis. He was my first love. He always will be and as much as I want to say that I don't love him anymore. The feelings still linger. It feels like I am being choked to death by them. The time that I have invested in him, makes me feel like I've wasted years of my life. The man that I was wanting to have children with betrayed me in every shape and form. I couldn't help but hate myself for loving him. 

I simply take a chug of wine. It's in moment's at crisis where I can comprehend why people turn to drink, it's like ailment to the heartache and pain. I don't even know how much I have drunk but I can slowly feel that pain numb further with each sip of wine. I can't even comprehend what is going on around me but as I chill in Jack's bachelor pad, all I can do is make out two blurry figures. 

"Told you she'd be here." One of the voices were very similar to Jack's. I couldn't help but smile. Jack was a good egg. 

"Thank god. Ree' why didn't you tell us you would be here? We've been running all over the place trying to find you. I thought you would be at home." I register Roman's voice, which is filled with concern and worry. 

"Home..." I mumble. "Home..." I can't help the chuckle that escapes my lips. "Home is where the heart is at. That's what my nan used to say. Where is home when your heart is broken? Where is home when it is broken?" I sigh as a small tear escapes my eye. I feel two large bodies sit down next to me, the warmth that radiates from their bodies is nice. I can't help but want to wrap myself up like bubble wrap. It's so protective, making me feel less lonely. 

"Ree' you have so many people that love you. You will never be alone." Roman's warm voice buzzes through my ears. 

"Yeah you should know that you are stuck with both of us for life. Daddy always says I'm lucky to have a friend like you." Jack stated. "How are you feeling?" Jack asks. Honestly, if I had the energy I would tell him what a stupid question that is, but unfortunately I can't even be bothered to hash it out with him. Fortunately Roman literally beats me to the punch as I hear a thud, followed by a loud "Owww" from Jack. 

"What's the update? Is the she-devil pregnant?" I nonchalantly question. I can hear the hesitation in the air as I am met with an echoed silence. I groan as I cover my face with my hands. "I'll take your silence as a yes." I pause. "Is it Lewis' baby?" 

"Yes. It is. My daddy confirmed that it was at the ultra scan appointment. He was also listed as the father on the documentation." Jack solemnly replies. A part of me wants to know where his dad got the information from but truth be told I know I won't get a straight forward answer. His dad has a web of networks. 

It's then that I can't help but let the tears stream down my face. It's one thing to accept that your husband cheated on you. It is another thing for him to get someone pregnant. Let's not forget that the woman he got pregnant isn't exactly the world's best mother or my best friend either. It's the woman who's out to make my life a nightmare. I know she has a vendetta against me after she lost custody of her children. It was a huge blow to her self-esteem, she lost her only bit of control on Roman, along with the large child support payments that went in her bank every month. 

"Well you definitely have grounds for divorce now." Jack interjects. With that I comment, I can't help but laugh through my tears at his words. 

I sit back on ponder on why I would care so much about someone who clearly didn't care or respect me. My aching heart no longer wanting to feel pain or sadness. I rub my tear stained face and look at the two men who have become my rock. I simply look between them both and muster a smile. 

"Let's do something. Anything. Something I have never done before. I need to get out of my comfort zone." I say through my sniffles.

"Anything?" Jack's voice is filled with excitement.

"No! Absolutely no way! You did that when I separated from Liza. There is no way we are taking Ree' there. Nope, I refuse." Roman shouts angrily at Jack. 

"She said anything, she can't take it back. Why are you getting so huffy about it? It's just what the doctor ordered."

"No-" Roman starts to shout but I simply speak over him a "Yes". Roman's gaze snaps to mine, his eyes filled with bewilderment and shock. 

"You don't even know what he is talking about." Roman shakes his head. 

"I don't care. It has got to be ten times better than sitting here and feeling sorry for myself. Whatever Jack's got planned, let's do it." I say with determination. 

"Yes! Excellent. Right I'm going to make some calls, get a dress in for Ree'. You can nick some of my clothes, might be a little tight but we know you like to show off those muscles." Jack's gesturing with his hands as he takes his phone and starts to make a call. 

Roman lets out I sigh. "You're going to regret this."