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 Yeahhhhhh, probably surprised that I kept my word and actually updated a chapter, huh? 

I don't blame ya.

I can be a bitch sometimes, but I try not to. Also it wasn't a good month for me....

But anyway.

Enjoy.

(Y/n POV)

Do you ever feel like you're drowning? But you're not in water.

Do you ever feel like you can't get air? But you're outside.

Do you ever feel alone? But you're surrounded by people.

Do you ever wanna just let go? But you're stuck.

Do you ever feel like you're just drifting in darkness? But see light everywhere.


If you do, then you know exactly how I feel right now.

I came here to cry, and not worry the others. But now that I'm here.

I can't shed a single tear.

Just sitting on a rock floating in darkness, staring down at my legs as I'm sitting on my knees.

Replaying the thoughts in my head, of what just happened. 

Sitting on a rock, surrounded by darkness.

Can't breathe properly.

Can't see properly.

Can't hear properly.


I feel like a part of me is missing. Like I'm standing on a table, in a room full of people.

And I shout at the top of my lungs to just listen and stop.

But no one can hear me, I'm just as invisible as the spirits around us.

Do you ever feel like no matter what you do....

You're not good enough?

That you'll always fail?

That you already have failed?

That the people around you don't care and think of you as a failure?

That's me.

Sitting on a rock going over all the mistakes I've made, blaming myself for not doing things better.

For not helping more.

For not finding another solution.


Traitor

Failure

Burden

Useless


In different words, that's what Morgana described me.

Just in one word.

She was right.


I did fail her.

I am a traitor.

I am a burden.

I am useless.


And.....



I am stupid.


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