Still Standing At The Exit (Mike pov)

3. Miles, please respond.../ Mike, talk to me..(Sharpener)

(TW!! MENTIONS OF SELF HARM!!)

The dark curly haired boy was sitting in his room, staring at the rain right outside the window. Miles always liked to be alone at times like this, away from flora and Kate. It was just him and the sound the raindrops made while falling on the glass.

Even tho he loved flora with his whole heart, she was sometimes annoying. Despite of all, she was a kid who wanted to play. Those times she wanted to play when miles was feeling blue.

He was holding his guitar, playing the same chords over and over again. He liked the sound of it. The same, repetitive pattern made his ears calm down, he was relaxing. He had a rough day.

Mile didn't give a good first impression to Richie and Boris. However much he was trying to get along with them earlier that day, Richie was getting defensive, like he always does.

He sighed, and left his guitar next to him. He lifted his red sleeves - he was wearing quints sweater. The self- harming scars started to fade away. Miles felt his stomach sink. He was relieved, on the one hand, but they were still fading away.

And he did it. Again. The blood looked fresh on his arm. The blade fell on the floor, leaving stains of blood on the carpet. He hated it. He would have to clean again.

He wished out of it. Forever.

Suddenly, the airwaves of his walkie-talkie stoped, and a slight voice came out of it.

"Miles, u there? Over."

Miles got up and approached the object. He didn't know much about walkies, he never had the chance to use any tbh. The voice sounded familiar. It was a voice he heard before, at Richie's house.

"Miles, it's Theo, over."

Miles responded.

"Are you ok? You didn't seem like it today."

"Yeah um..it's nothing I'll be fine."

Fairchilds had just moved to Hawkins. Kate and her girlfriend were pushing miles into meeting new people, and he came by Theo across the way. Well, long story short, Theo met miles and Eddie. Boris and Richie weren't going along that well, and Mike didn't know any of them existed yet.

So yeah , Theo was close with miles. He reminded him of Boris a bit. But he was the one to talk to him first, when he first got to richies house.

"Are you sure? Over"

"Yeah, goodnight" . Miles lowered the antenna and decided to go to sleep (he didn't)

The next morning was neutral for all. At the wheeler's house, will had just left and now mike was alone in his room.

He was going through the same train of thought. Again.

Why didn't he just tell him how he felt? He could easily open his mouth and say " I think I have feelings for you" but why didn't he do it? Why was El keeping him back, even tho she wasn't here? Mike was pushing will away, and so did will.

He had a dream the previous night; they were in the van, and will just gave him the painting. Mike opened up afterwards, but will got mad. He got mad because mike wasnt able to choose. He couldn't. Johnathan was driving and will, in the dream, was yelling at him, that he's not himself anymore. It was like he saw a mixed version of Ted and Karen, with Eddie Munson's behavior.

Mike was affected by Eddie a lot. And he knew that. Once he put on the hellfire shirt, he told himself he would change. And he somehow did, he started caring about his friends again, especially Dustin, and therefore forgot about will or El. He liked spending time with the freaks, as people called them. He felt like home at hellfire. And once him and Eddie came closer, Mike felt the butterflies seeing how attractive he was.

But Eddie was dead now, he should get over it. He didn't wanna start thinking about the inside down, he would get depressed.

His mind turned to El. The times they kissed, the time they spend together. But a few of it was genuinely happy. Mostly, they were fighting or they were extremely awkward. Mike remembered the fight before they took her.

El was crying. She was asking from mike something he couldn't give her. He couldn't love her, not the way she wanted to.

And there he was again, with his ridiculous bowl cut. Mike loved wills bowlcut, however will was always hating it. Mike liked messing it up and fixing it again, he liked playing with his hair. But they were kids. No one would suspect kids being gay. Now, that they both grew up, they all would suspect.

Karen was accepting when Nancy came out. It wasn't big; she just said she's not only interested in boys, and that she might like girls too, but she would still date Johnathan. She didn't make a big deal out of it, but her mom showed support. She was relating to Nancy. She knew how Nancy felt.

Ted, on the other side, didn't give a single fuck about his kids. He either was complaining how they do nothing, or he would ignore everything and everyone. He was rarely being sarcastic, but that was it. That man didn't have a goal in his life.

Mike wanted to talk to his mom. He always went to her when he needed someone. He went to her when wills dead body was found, when will got cursed, when will left. It was when will, it was always will.

A door knock interrupted his thoughts.

"Mike, do you have any spare change? I'll pay you back tomorrow!" Nancy spoke.

Mike stood up quickly, and started searching for money. After he found some, he open the door three inches and gave it to her.

"Alright, thanks" she did. Nancy noticed mike was anxious. "Everything alright mike?"

Mike paused. "Uh..yeah, when'd you come home?"

"Just now, I was with Jonathan. Mike, are you sure your ok?"

Mike gulped. He was debating whether to open up to his sister or not. But she would understand, she talked to Karen about herself, she would understand. Mike tried closing the door, distancing himself again.

"You never talk to me. I mean..we barely even speak anymore.....I know something's wrong."

Mike opened the door. As soon as he saw Nancy, he hugged her tight. Tears started rolling down his cheeks. He might not be that alone anymore.

Nancy patted his head. She love her little brother. And he loved her. He even helped her transition four years ago.

"You know you can talk to me whenever you want, right?"

"Yes" mike sobbed. He was finally breaking out, squeezing her even more.

Nancy wouldn't imagine her brother was going through all this. "It's..it's about will, I.." he started after a while. "I don't know how to feel, Nancy. I don't know what to do".

Nancy paused. "do you.. love will?"

"Yes...no...maybe..I don't know. I don't know who I love, I don't know if and how I love El, I...I don't even know who I am Nance....I can't figure shit out .." mike cried in a painful fin voice.

Nancy hugged him, stroking his back. They both felt the same. They both were queer.