An interlude to Sunset

The part Where Worlds seem distorted - Arjun

Disclaimer - None of the characters are mine and belong to one of the greatest epics ever. This is just a fanfiction and I have just borrowed the characters. There is no intention of hurting anyone's sentiments - religious or otherwise.

4. ARJUN

The world was making no sense. There was a kaleidoscope of colors and yet everything felt grey. There was a nagging pain emanating from the left part of his chest but more intense was the utter discomfort spreading through his very soul. He was aware of a pressing need to talk to somebody, to share the dark thoughts running through his mind, to seek their counsel, to feel that calm and serene presence by his side...

Madhav.... His Heart called.

"Ma..." was all his voice could manage.

This darkness may herald the end of his life, and Arjun was not afraid to face it. His existence seemed meaningless at the moment. Who would miss him after his departure? His brothers? Panchali? Madhav? Will his best friend miss him? But Madhav always seemed so ethereal, so much above all the pettiness of daily life.

What was he thinking... Why.... Arjun's conscience shifted back for a moment and he could vaguely register a hand holding on to his own, and transferring vital life force and energy. Was it one of his brothers...

But the force felt different, it felt softer and more mature.

Pitamah.....

In his heart Arjun knew; he remembered his Pitamah's touch. Those childhood memories of sitting for hours with him, listening to endless stories and being awed at the character his Pitamah had presented. It was mind boggling for any child to be faced with some superhero out of a fairy tale... The tragic tale of the prince who sacrificed his all.

Arjun's heart grew lighter and the pain lessened. He had been staring at a dark abyss but now there was some light around the edges. He could hear some voices around and felt a light touch on his forehead; Nakul. Arjun could feel Nakul's love and worry through the touch. Beneath all the fun loving and mischievous exterior lay a soft and fractured soul. 

Mata Kunti had given the orders and Jyestha Bhrata had seen it prudent to uphold the same, but Arjun was aware that Nakul carried enough guilt over the whole Panchali scenario; both Nakul and Deva. Sahadeva had even tried to broach the topic a few times but Arjun had preferred ignorance.

What was done and decided was done; there was no requirement nor utility of broaching the topic now. Arjun was not comfortable in speaking about Panchali with his younger brothers, nor with his older brothers. The only person he ever felt comfortable in sharing the deepest thoughts of his heart was Madhav... His Sakha... His best friend in this whole world and beyond.

Arjun spoke of Madhav as his friend, but he was so much more. Madhav's Parth worshipped him as his devotee, placed trust in him so complete that it was second to none. For Arjun the words of Madhav mattered more than anyone else'. Before his 12 year exile, Madhav had asked him to complete the exile at Dwaraka and Arjun had taken it as a herald of staying away from his friend for 12 long years. He had accepted it gracefully though there was great grief in his heart. But Madhav had not made him wait long. With the end of just his first year in exile, Madhav had sought out Arjun and had accompanied him around for a few days.

Arjun was living in a makeshift hut made of grass, hay and clay and had the simplest of fruits and austere food for his sustenance. The archer had been overwhelmed at his friend's presence and ecstatic that he will be gaining Krishna's companionship for a few days. But then reality had made its presence and Arjun was reminded that in his present condition there was not much he could offer his friend by way of comfort. He had expressed his regrets and Madhav had laughed out loud.

"What luxuries would I require when there is utter opulence of your presence here, my Parth!" There was a mischievous yet affectionate look on Madhav's face and Arjun had moved to hug him and thereafter to seek his blessings by reverently folding his hands. But Madhav had stopped him before Arjun could touch his feet and had pulled him into another embrace.

While partaking of their simple dinner of boiled rice, some fruits and a little milk for Madhav, Arjun had broached his questions.

"Madhav..." Arjun had hesitated. At Krishna's answering smile he had continued. "Why do you never let me seek your blessings? If nothing more, you are my older brother, even if by just a few months." Arjun had fallen silent as he was unable to find any words at the moment.

Madhav had laughed long and hard; he took a few sips of the milk Arjun had collected from the village specifically from him. Then with a satisfied look he passed the milk pot over to Arjun. The archer had tried to refuse the offering, maintaining that it was only sufficient for Madhav; his friend had insisted. Arjun had partaken the milk, finding it the sweetest he had ever had. Then Madhav had said,

"My dear Parth. As I had said before and I will say again, you place is in my heart. You are my dear friend."

"You are divine, Madhav!" Arjun had muttered and had spoken over Krishna's protests. "I may not know you in any or all of your entirety but your divinity is obvious. Why deny me of your blessings, if I am not at fault?"

Madhav had looked at him with great affection and had placed his hand on Arjun's head akin to giving blessing. "You are never denied, my dearest Sakha. How can I ever deny you of anything? Do you not know that I can go to any and all extent for your well-being? Your trials may seem hard at times, even unbearable, but you will always find me by your side."

The pain was increasing again. Madhav's calm countenance was hiding being the dark clouds emerging from Arjun's mind. There were thoughts in them, thoughts which were not his own. Insecurity, anger, jealously, cruelty, guilt, despair....There was just too much to sort through, too much to bear. But the feelings were not his own, the intensity was too much. The recent events were slowly emerging from the darkness. The strange man in the forest, his grudge towards the Kauravas, the cursed arrow shot and Arjun's moving to intercept the arrow before it could hit Dushyala.

"Dushyala!"

Pain exploded in Arjun's body and little by little everything went blissfully dark again. 

The updates might be a little late as work is a little stressful at the moment. Some comments and creative criticism will be highly appreciated as it gives an impetus to keep writing. Thank you.