a Lout and a Prince

Part 18

In a single look, it was over.

Alberu quelled the panic that surged inside of him as he saw the emotions flash across Cale's face, raw and harsh. In a moment of stupidity and selfishness, all he could think about was self preservation. How bad it would be for him should anyone, even Cale, realize who and what he was.

His entire life collapsing atop of him in the agonizing certainty of failure. Everything was for nothing. Someone knew and that heralded the end to everything he'd worked so hard for–

And like a slap to the face he saw the betrayal in Cale's eyes and his heart froze in his chest.

Cale was hurt. And it was his fault.

It took all of Alberu's considerable restraint and self control not to follow after Cale as he stormed away.

He needed to calm down.

Think logically.

It was foolish of him not to anticipate being recognized by Cale. He'd been good, in the beginning, about meeting Cale while cloaked and veiled but he hardly met with Cale as the prince. He'd grown complacent and allowed petty desires to be closer to cloud his common sense.

His heart thrummed inside of his chest wretchedly and time sludged forward as though taunting him. A minute stretched on into a short eternity and he still had so much to do.

He couldn't just follow him.

He couldn't act rashly.

He could still fix this.

He could preserve his secret without hurting Cale. He had to. He couldn't let Cale know about him, couldn't let anyone know about him, but he also couldn't tolerate seeing Cale suffering. He just needed to think logically. He'd find the answer. He'd find a smooth solution.

The shattered look in Cale's eyes crushed his heart when he arrived on the balcony. Unlike so many nights before, Cale didn't drag him in. Didn't make any attempt to touch him. He stood stiffly, just inside the window. Behind the line that would allow him to close the curtain on Alberu and turn away.

Alberu's heart throbbed in his chest. Was it too late? He needed to make this work.

Whatever was between him and Cale couldn't last. It just couldn't. He ought to have ended things sooner. Before the risk ever rose this high.

Alberu schooled his expression for concerned confusion, a feeling of disgust that he couldn't describe boiling inside of him. "What's wrong?"

"Stop." Cale held up a hand, knowing that Alberu was about to approach. "You get one chance to explain."

His voice was just as hard and cold as when he broke the wine glass.

The one warning Cale had offered him not to lie. That he would regret it if he did.

He didn't have a choice.

What awaited him on the other end of the truth? Cale's disgust at learning he was a quarter dark elf? Everything he'd worked for his entire life falling apart? Cale's hatred that he'd lied to begin with?

There was only one sensible path forward. He'd have to talk his way out of this and then end things with Cale. It had gone too far. He ought never to have let it begin. Whatever momentary insanity had overtaken him finally sobered up with the cold knowledge that there was no version of telling the truth that wouldn't hurt them both and destroy his life.

This was the only way.

Perhaps if Alberu hadn't been so afraid, he might have thought of a better solution. But despite his internal insistence that he was only doing the logical and sensible thing, the truth was he was only doing the cowardly thing.

He was a coward. It was as simple as that. He didn't want to lose his future. He didn't want to lose Cale. He didn't want any of this. He selfishly wanted to have it all.

"You noticed the resemblance." He said, his voice was calm. As though he didn't have anything to hide. As though he wasn't about to lie.

Cale's temper flared and he took an aggressive step towards him with a snarl. "No shit I noticed–how could I not–you're practically identical–!"

He saw his own fear reflected in Cale's eyes. Behind the anger and trembling. Just as cowardly as his own.

Alberu needed to be convincing. "...I can't tell you why."

Cale grabbed his collar, dragging him down until he was nose to nose and growling low in his throat. "You will or you'll learn exactly how unforgiving I can be."

"We're relatives."

The lie came out smooth, convincing, just as he planned. Just as he intended. Just the way to convince Cale. A relative of the crown prince who had to live in hiding, it was a story that held some merit with consideration to how complicated matters of succession could be. It explained his loyalty and resemblance as well.

It was a good lie.

It was a convincing lie.

It was a lie that Cale could believe.

So why did it feel so vile on his tongue?

Cale let go of his collar, pushing him away.

"I need to think."

"Cale–"

"I need to think." He spat, shooting a glare at the liar.

It was the right thing to do. Cale couldn't know the truth. This relationship couldn't last. It was the right thing to do.

But if that was true, why did Alberu feel as though he'd made the biggest mistake of his life?

He clenched his hands and bowed his head. "I understand."

Cale walked back towards his room, closing his curtain with his back turned towards the now unwelcome guest. Disappearing from Alberu's sight.

His heart clenched painfully.

His feet were moving before his thoughts caught up.

His arms wrapped around Cale through the curtain,He heard Cale's gasp and felt his warmth behind the cloth between them. He held Cale close and willing himself not to rescind it all. To tell Cale everything.

The truth wouldn't change anything.

Cale didn't pull away from him but he didn't lean into his touch.

Alberu closed his eyes and let go.

He felt cold as Cale wordlessly walked away.