Do We Change?

● Sinful Love

2 years ago ...

Making her way through the corridor , towards the door that the receptionist of the orphanage had indicated her , a young Manjiri Birla left a sigh . She was scared - she was afraid. After all she was about to do something that she had been contemplating for three years. She stopped at the mentioned door and was immediately greeted by the shrill shrieks of children.

Manjiri Birla had always adored children . She loved playing with them , singing to them , telling them stories all which she herself used to hear from her late mother. She had loved children even before she became a mother herself. She had nourished her sister's Parth when her sister used to busy in the hospital behavior. She remembered how his smile made her day back then . How his laughter brought light in her not-so happy marriage. But then ....then came her Abhimanyu. Parth was almost like her son. Almost . But Abhi ..Abhi ..was hers. Little Abhi , who from his toothless mouth had uttered his first words ..
"Maa"

Oh! How ecstatic she had been back then. How she had went to each and everyone and proclaimed her son's first words were "Maa".
Manjiri, wiped a lone tear that escaped her eyes. Her Abhi was six now.

Opening the door , Manjiri was greeted with three to four kids who ran about the entire room , so happy , so full of life. Manjiri laughed - children and their amusement always amazed her. Even though she was enjoying watching the kids , her eyes fixated upon a single child who sat at far corner , looking out of the window . And she knew, she knew it then who he was .

She slowly approached the boy and in an almost inaudible whisper , as if she were afraid she called.." N..Neil "

The boy turned around , to respond to this foreign voice calling out his name. Manjiri froze . The eyes that were looking at her now seemed so familiar, as if he were hers. Even Parth didn't seem these close , like this boy whom she is meeting just now , did. It was almost as if her Abhi was standing there.

The receptionist had come once again to take the other children out to give them some privacy.
" Neil "
Neil looked back at her . His little eyes boring a burning curiosity. Manjiri crouched before him , so that she can have a better view of the boy .
Neil brought his small hands towards her cheeks brushing the line that the tears had made.
" Maa?" He asked , unsure , afraid . Perhaps this was the first time he was using such word.
And Manjiri . Manjiri couldn't disagree. She nodded a yes as she pulled Neil towards her.

Manjiri Birla recounted her first meeting with her younger son , as he held a crying Neil towards herself. It had been two hours since they came from the hospital and Neil hadn't stopped for even once . Manjiri had no word of reassurance and neither did she tried to frame one . She knew all those would be nothing but sugar coated lies.

It was minutes before , a tried Anahnd took Mahima back to their room . Before leaving , they had reassured that they are in the next room . Parth and Shefali who had tried their best to calm down Neil, were sent back to their rooms by Manjiri. Now all who remained in this room were her sons , her husband and herself. A family too forlorn to be called a family .

A painful silence dawned upon them as Neil had finally stopped his sobs . Harshvardhan Birla was sitting there , opposite Abhimanyu yet both preferred to stare at the floor.
Manjiri recalled how she had cracked to Harsh that Neil was his son .

" By what sense did you bring that ungrateful orphan to this house." Harsh had accused her oneday. " Would he ever know what is it to be a Birla? We are all doctors , world famous doctors. Bloody orphan . All he does is stay with his colour pencils all day.."

But Manjiri had had it enough. She couldn't stand Neil being referred to as orphan for another minute .
"N..Neil is your son"
Harshvardhan stood shocked. Not sure what his wife was talking about .
" Neil is your son . Yours and A..Avni Rathore's".

The very next Manjiri had found a new set of colour pencils and a sketch book in Neil's table . When she raised an eyebrow, as in to ask where did these come from , Neil replied
" Papa, gave it. He asked me to call him that ". Neil had always referred Harsh as uncle before that.

That same night Manjiri had witnessed a strange scene . Her husband held Neil , close to him as he cried - cried for his long lost love .

Harshvardhan cleared his throat breaking the silence that was created in his room . He got up and approached the Mother and son ,
" You stay with him . He needs you"
Manjiri looked up to her husband .
She knew her husband didn't love her , but he was not exactly alien to love , either. He loved his sons . And he had loved Avni Rathore . But their's was a sinful love . And the one she held in her arms , was a proof of it .
As Harsh left the room she turned towards Abhi ,
" Abhi , beta, you should rest too. I am staying here with Neil."

As Abhimanyu looked up , manjiri noticed a strange expression on Abhimanyu 's face. Wait it guilt ? Remorse ? Regret?
She remembered the first time she took a six year old Abhimanyu to meet Neil.

" Maa..where are were going ?" A young Abhimanyu couldn't hold his curiosity anymore. He couldn't just understand why wasn't his mother just telling him it.
It was the first time he was going somewhere alone with his mother , except for their occasional visit to the temple.
" Maa ...ma..please tell ". Abhi jumped in curiosity as he held his mother's hand and together they walked through the door.
" Beta ..you are going to meet someone "
" whom ? Maa..whom ?"

Manjiri laughed at her son's antics. Abhi had always been a curious kid.
" wait ..beta ..you will see "
Together they reached the orphanage.
"Maa"
Manjiri heard a loud cry and she turned around to see a running Neil approaching them . Neil came up to them and looked at Abhi, curious.
" Neil this is..." before Manjiri could introduce Abhi, he had already started speaking.
" Hi! I am Abhimanyu. And you called my Maa, Ma , so you are my brother . Call me bhai ."

Manjiri was awestruck. Her son was smart.
" I..Me Neil . Play " Neil extended his small hand towards Abhi. And together they ran .

The very next day Abhimanyu had cried , threw a tantrum , to take him to Neil . His mother obliged. That was the same day he had asked Neil to pack his bag ,
" you are my chotu bhai . You will stay with him ."

Manjiri had tried to stop him . But Abhimanyu had passed an ultimatum. Either Neil went with him , or he stayed back at the orphanage. .
And even when he was six , no one could stand against Abhimanyu ' will.

" Maa.. it was all because of me ."
Manjiri looked confused at her elder son.
" I didn't except Aarohi. It was because of me that Neil was in dilemma. Now Aarohi is in hospital. And Neil....Maa I should have accepted them . It's all my fault . I loved my brother , and in my love I didn't see his love. "

Manjiri stayed quiet .

Sometimes love commits a sin , sometimes love's a sin.

It's an unwinding paradox.

From the author: New cover for the story . Comment whether you liked it.