In Bloom - Felix Volturi

25. You're Not a F*ucking God, Lucy

"How many bowls have you smoked today?" Steve snapped.

The guys and I were set up in the living room of our house, and about two hours into band practice. Lucy Two sat dutifully on the couch, hyping Steve up even though he'd done nothing to deserve it. Felix had split, choosing to go out and hunt rather than sit on the sidelines like a groupie.

"Dude, it never affects my craft," Roland retorted. "Maybe if you stopped staring at Lucy's ass and focus we'd actually be good."

"I'm not staring at Lucy, you prick," Steve shot back, even though his face had turned red. "You're the one fucking up. You're playing too slow. Right, Jeff?"

"I don't know man. It's sounded good to me," Jeff said, staying out of it.

"I think it sounded fucked," Lucy Two said, echoing Steve's sentiment.

"Oh, wow," Roland said with heavy sarcasm. "Hey, Steve! Having a brainwashed rag doll for a girlfriend much be pretty convenient, huh?"

"What the fuck, Roland!" Lucy Two exclaimed as she jumped up off of the couch.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that," Steve threatened.

"L-2, take a seat and chill. It's no big deal," Jeff advised her calmly.

"Why?" she demanded. "I'm just as much in the band and everyone else is. Just because the prodigal child decided to wander back home, doesn't mean I'm out!"

"Lucy with always outrank you," Roland proclaimed hotly. "You're literally Lucy TWO."

"That's not my name!" she cried.

"Would you guys calm down? We're all here for the same reason," Jeff said.

Honestly, all of the bickering? I couldn't have cared less. Normally I would've happily thrown myself into the mix, but...I donno. Even since Felix and I started hanging out, my priorities shifted. To me, some of the pettier things suddenly weren't worth wasting my breath.

"I don't know why you give her so much fucking credit, anyway," Lucy Two spat before staring at me resentfully. "Unpopular Opinion: You're not a fucking god, Lucy."

"Ay, keep me out of this," I said into the mic. I couldn't be bothered to be offended; my mind was elsewhere.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Steve said, jumping in on me, "Let's keep you out of it, since you're too busy fucking Felix to give a shit about the band anymore."

Okay. Now I'm annoyed.

I turned slowly to give Steve a hard look. "Keep my husband's name out of your mouth," I said coldly through the mic.

"Yah, Steve, shut the fuck up!" Roland yelled.

"Come on, guys," Jeff said wearily.

"No! You shut the fuck up!" Steve shouted back at Roland. "How can you even defend that guy? He's a fucking creep!"

"Because he's Lucy's man!" Roland retorted.

"Please!" Steve scoffed. "She barely even knows the guy! As far as we know, he could be a serial killer or something!"

"I dare you to say that to his face," I challenged Steve.

"Okay, I'm not going to lie, I really want to see that," Jeff said as Roland let out a loud laugh.

"Yeah, come on! Square up!" Roland jeered. "Say it to his face!"

"Why the hell would I tell a serial killer that I think they're a serial killer? That doesn't make any sense," Steve replied, already trying to back out of it.

"Steve's right, anyway," Lucy Two said. "What do you even know about Felix?"

"Plenty," I said stiffly.

"Really?" she snorted, "What's his favorite color?"

I glared at her, which didn't help my case.

"You don't know!" Steve exclaimed, bellowing a laugh.

I grit my teeth and gripped the mic; my patience was running dangerously thin.

Lucy Two made eye contact with me and immediately became unsettled. She must've not liked what she saw because she quickly changed her tune.

"Hey, uh— you know, maybe y'all should go on a date or something," she stammered while avoiding making eye contact with me again. "Like, for alone time. Get out of the crowded house."

Steve pinched up his face in confusion and frustration. He hadn't expected Lucy Two to abandoned his side of the argument. "What do you recommend?" he asked her sarcastically. "The county fair?"

"I'm just trying to be helpful," she muttered before sinking back onto the couch.

"We have to get ready for the big show," Steve replied. "It's only in four days. We don't have time for people to start wandering off."

"Luc, if you want the night off, L-2 can cover for you for the rest of practice," Jeff offered.

Look, I was typically the last one to leave practice - after Steve, that is - but Steve and Lucy Two were on my last nerve. God, it just wasn't as fun as it used to be.

"Yeah, actually," I said, exhaling loudly. "I think I'm gonna go."

"Lucy..." Roland said. He could tell something about me was off.

"It's cool," I assured him. "I'm gonna call Felix and have him pick me up. No worries."

I walked into the kitchen and used the landline to shoot a message to Felix's pager telling him to pick me up. I was over it, and could really use some fresh air.

"Jeff, you got some cigs?" I asked as I passed through the living room.

"Yeah, for sure," he said, pulling out his pack and a lighter from his pocket before tossing them to my. I caught them easily and let myself outside to wait for Felix in peace.

Once out of the front porch, I sat down on the concrete step and shook a cigarette from the mostly empty pack. I lit it swiftly before taking a drag and pensively staring down the dark, empty street.

It was strange, sitting out there, alone. I couldn't shake the feeling that I didn't quite fit in anymore. My old life, my whole world, suddenly seemed like it didn't have enough room for me. Being left out was not something I experienced often.

Ten minutes after I'd sent Felix a message, he pulled up to the curb in our rental car. I didn't hesitate to stamp out my cigarette with the heel of my sneaker and cross the yard to climb into the passenger seat.

"I thought you had band practice," Felix said after I slammed the door closed. He was dressed down significantly - for him, at least - in a pair of black jeans and a plain white t-shirt.

"Yeah. I'm kinda over it today," I said vaguely, shoving the cigarettes and the lighter into the glove compartment. I really didn't want to get into it.

Felix nodded casually and didn't press for details. "What do you want to do instead?"

"I don't know," I sighed heavily and shrugged. As much as I wanted to slap Lucy Two's face off of her face, she had a little tiny point. I didn't feel like I knew Felix as well as I would like, and I wanted to do something about it. "Wanna go to the county fair?"