Light my fire. (Steddie)

Chapter 9

Steve didn't know wether he should wait downstairs while Eddie showered in his en-suite to give him privacy or remain sitting on the bed.
He didn't want Eddie to come out and think he'd abandoned him, he felt he needed to protect the boy. Not how he's protective of the kids fatherly, no this was different.
There was a want, a need to care for him.
He didn't want a single bad thing to ever happen to him again, it scared him, the lengths he knew he'd go to.
He rushed over to the phone on his bedside table, dialling the number he knew by heart.
His knee bounced nervously as he listened to it ring.
"Steve? It's late... are you okay?" Robin asked, her voice filled with grogginess.
"How do you feel about Vicky?" His voice rushed.
"Ugh what do you mean? You know how I feel about her" she groaned.
"No I know but like what do you feel?"
There was a pause as she thought about it.
"I guess I admire her.. the way she looks, the way she makes me laugh but also how nervous she makes me. I guess I feel safe with her even though the world is so unpredictable.. does that make sense?" Her voice quiet, deep in thought.
His own mind shifted to the man currently on the other side of the door.
"Yeah... yeah it does.. thanks Robin" he whispered.
"Who's the lucky girl then?" Her voice gleaming with excitement, he could imagine her sleepy smile.
He wasn't ready to allow his feelings he knew were there to rise and so he kept pushing them down back into the pit they had sat in for quite some time now.
"I don't know about that just yet Rob but there might be something..."he pondered.
His attention shifted as the bathroom door unlocked.
" shit I gotta go, I'll talk to you later" hanging up before she could reply.

Eddie hadn't expected to find Steve there in the room. His skin started to prickle at the sudden self consciousness of being stood with just a towel around his waist. He knew Steve had seen him before at his trailer but his mind was elsewhere at the time.
He quickly adjusted the towel up under his armpits in attempt to hide the scars and cuts of his own self destructive behaviour along with the numerous purple bruises that had been left by Jason and his crew but it was too late, Steve had seen.

He didn't want to meet Steve's eyes from the fear that all he'd see is the painful sympathy.
"Eddie it's okay, I'm not judging" the boy assured him.

Eddie looked up slowly to find a warm smile on the other man with his hand across his eyes, giving him the privacy he deserved.
Eddie took the chance to analyse every detail of the man while he had the chance.
The light dusting of freckles on his forehead down to the tip of his nose. The little groupings of moles dancing across the lower half of his face to his neck. There was many things Eddie had never had the chance to in depth look at, he wasn't going to stop at the chance now.
Steve looked tired although Eddie couldn't see his eyes, he could tell by the way his shoulders rolled forward, his back slumped down into itself and Eddie couldn't get past the feeling of guilt that he was contributing to the cause of it.

"Are you good? Can I take my hand away now?" He called out but getting no reply in return.
Eddie was stood facing the mirror as Steve opened his eyes gingerly. He was confused as he watched him stare off into the depths of the mirror, lost in his own mind.
Steve's eyes travelled up Eddie's back, taking in the extent of the pink scars that wrapped around the man's sides, his shoulders and down to his arms. On the man's front they were mostly hidden by the continuous bruising but his back, they were on full show sitting as a strong reminder of their fight together. He was mesmerised by them, he hadn't seen them since they were red and trying to heal. There was also a fondness in the similarity of their scars, Eddie's of course being much deeper and angrier in appearance but none the less it meant something for the man.

"Do your scars hurt still?" He asked, pulling Eddie out of his trance.
"Hmm? Oh.. yeah they do sometimes." He replied, pulling his shirt on.
"It's like a phantom pain isn't it?"
Eddie was caught off guard by the question.
He spends so long trying to forget and ignore the scars, it was surprisingly comforting to have someone to talk to who understood and it not be in a downgrading manner.
"Yeah... yeah it is.... Sometimes I can still feel the bats biting me, pulling me apart.. I have dreams about it" he explained a little too casual for Steve's liking but he wasn't going to question it when he knew exactly what the boy was on about.

"I have dreams too..." Steve mumbled, tucking his hair back behind his ear as he looked into his lap.
"You do?"
"Yeah I do, I think most of us do but just don't say anything to stay strong for each other.."

Eddie doesn't forget that the others experienced the same fight as him, the memories won't let him forget, but he has felt alone like nobody will understand him. It warmed and comforted him to the soul at the acknowledgment that maybe the world was abit more understanding than he thought.

Steve shuffled back against the headboard as he patted the bed for him to join, throwing a pillow to the other end for Eddie to use as his own headrest, admiring him as he effortlessly rolled onto the bed. His shirt rolling up as he did.
"How are the bruises healing?" Steve questioned.
Eddies eyes shifting around the room before clearing his throat.
"Not bad they'll be gone in about 7 days"
"Nah 8" Steve rallied back, Eddie's brows raising in surprise.
"Oh really? Didn't know Steve Harrington was master fighter?" He mocked, a smile on both faces.
"Ahh Munson you'd be surprised!" He exclaimed, wiggling his index finger at the boy.
"Oh yeah?.. surprise me." His voice cheeky, his eyes narrowed as he stared at the startled Steve at the other end of the bed.
If it wasn't for the fact it was now the very early morning and Steve was extremely tired, it would of taken every thing to stop him as he probably had a panic attack over the response. He was struggling enough with the sight of Eddie laid out on his bed, using one elbow to keep himself up, he could see the tenseness of his stomach muscles through the T-shirt and it was unsettling him.

He wasn't sure what he wanted just yet but he did know that any attempt to put those deep dark feelings back in the can was not going to happen easily and it scared him. Over the years he'd done so well ignoring them although the continuous failed relationship's really should of been an obvious sign that he hadn't locked all his feelings away too well.

"I'll tell you one day I promise but for now I need my beauty sleep.." he explained, shifting the conversation away from dangerous territory but also away from the reminders of what had happened with the Russians those many months ago.

"Right. Yes sorry I didn't realise.." getting up off the bed quickly, ready to leave like he was so practised in doing. Steve could see the shame the man carried.
"You fool you can sleep here. I don't mind. There's a spare bedroom right next door. I'm not going to kick you out at like 3am, who'd do that?" Steve was rolling his eyes as he got up to show the confused man to the basic room next to his own.
"You'd be surprised.." Eddie muttered under his breath.
"Hang on!" Steve shouted as he ran back to his own room, returning a moment later with a T-shirt in hand, thrusting it into Eddie's hand.
"To sleep in?" Steve explained.
Eddie thanked him deciding to save the boy from the knowledge that he normally sleeps nude.
" alright I'll uh see you in the morning then.. good night big boy!" Eddie smiled gleefully.
"Good night sweetheart!" Steve equally as eager, rallied back as he shut the door behind him.

Both went to sleep that night with a wide grin and a fire in their hearts.