running to 1st

22th

harper's pov:

Jess said she was going home, I knew she was lying. she never goes home, i dont blame her. Her dad beats her and her mom died when she was 7. We never talked about it, i knew it was a sensitive subject for her. well jess is one of the strongest teenagers i know, always is ready for a fight, has a snappy but loving personality. I know she is really close with my mom, probably closer to my mom than I am. but that's ok, jess needs someone to love her- not in a boy form.

Jess came back from probably benny's, "Hey it's ok harper. everything is fine." She said hugging me, which brought me more tears. No, it's not ok. my mom is sick, she won't get any better soon. Cher is never home, she has the best life out of all the members in our 'family.' She has a boyfriend, that loves her. is very popular at school, has a good job. Then she has us- somewhat like a burden. She acts like we are a normal family, we aren't.

And then James, a young 7 year old, who doesn't know a lot. he doesn't know his mom is sick, he doesn't know his dad left us, he doesn't know mama picks-up any job at the hospital, just so she gets her mind off her home-life. He doesn't know Jess's home-life, or about Benny's and Paislee's dad. James doesn't know much, he's just a 7-year old living a sad life. but he thinks life is fine, without any problems.

I got another phone call, "hello?"

"hey harper, meet me at the sandlot in 10." Benny said.

"no, you broke up with me." I said, still crying.

"harper, please." he begged me.

"fine." I said hanging up to phone, and walking outside.

I got to the sandlot it was dark, probably around 11 at night. benny came up to me.

"harper, i made a mistake." he said, I sat down on first base.

"i didn't know your mom was in the hospital, or about your diabetes." he continued, then sat down next to me. "i guess i was mad that you didn't tell me before you told ham and kenny." Benny said, i looked at the floor. "i'm trying to apologize, but it's kinda hard when you haven't said a word." he said in a begging voice, tears came down my face. benny noticed and lifted my chin up, making direct eye-contact with me. "i'm sorry, i should have told you when i found out. but i didn't want you to think i was sick." I finally spat out, benny hugged me and told me it was ok. it really wasn't, i felt weak. i felt like someone shattered my heart right in half.

"no benny it's not. my mom has cancer." I said, his expression turned from comforting to sad. "how long have you known?" "since this morning, she's known for a whole month." I stopped, "a whole month." i said again. "i'm so sorry." benny said hugging me again, this man knows how to make me feel somewhat better. "i better get home." I said standing up. "oh ok, see you tomorrow." He said as i walked out the sandlot.

I walked home, jess was asleep on the couch. I put a blanket over her then layed on the other side of the couch. my mom texted me:

mama: Hey baby, how you feeling?

me: i've been better. benny broke up with me, i never told him about my diabetes and he figured out. he was pretty sad that i didn't tell him. Jess is with me at home, we didn't go to the rodriguez's.

mama: oh well you guys will make-up soon. i figured that you were home since i called Laura and she said you seemed overwhelmed, so she let you go.

me: yeah, how are you feeling?

mama: i'm doing better, i have been doing tests for the past hour. hopefully i can come home soon and take care of you guys! well i have to go for some more tests. bye, love you.

me: ok love you too.

i put my phone down and got about 4 hours of sleep before the sun came up. I made breakfast for jess and i before james came back home. "hey buddy." I said hugging him. "hi, where's mommy?" he asked. "james, mom is in the hospital." I began to say, then i stopped. no harper, don't cry infront of james. you have to be strong. i took a deep breath. "well your mommy is sick, so she won't be home for awhile. but cher harper and i will watch you while mommy is getting some help, by the doctors." Jess said, her voice shaking.

"oh. mommy is gonna get better right?" james said, not understanding fully what Jess said. "yes, it may take awhile. but we can visit her later if you want." Jess answered. "ya, want to go with us later harper?" James said. "i will think about it." I said as i went upstairs to take a shower. I don't want to see her suffering, but what if it's the last time i will see her? I thought as i turned on the water. worth a shot i guess.

I laid on my bed as jess and james were playing downstairs, a tap on my window made me jump.

it was ham and kenny, "hey guys." I said opening my window. "are you ok?" they asked. that's when it hit me, I was doing great until those 3 words were asked. "um yeah, i didn't get much sleep last night." I said, they knew i was lying but i wasn't gonna cry next to them. "oh ok we will let you rest, see ya harper." They said as I shut my window, i stood there. then i let my emotions take over me, anger, sadness, confusion, pain. anything. I walked towards a picture that was sitting on my desk. it was benny and me. I grabbed it and threw it on the floor, glass shattering. it was relieving. I grabbed another one, it had me, my dad, mama, and cher. I threw it in front of me, more glass shattering.

i started crying. i sat down, my knees going straight into the glass. I started picking up the glass pieces- cutting my hands in the process. Jess barged into my room with james.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING-" jess yelled, looking all over the floor. seeing glass and blood everywhere. "james can you go to your room and play for a little while?" she said, james nodded and went away. "harper." i was looking at the floor, still crying. "Harper?" i heard again. "Harper Kate, listen to me goddamit!" jess said shaking me, I looked at her with fear. "What happened?" Jess said as she came back with the first-aid kit, "you have to talk." She said picking up the glass off the floor, carefully so she wouldn't get cut. Then she wrapped my hands and put band-aids on my knees, "ham and kenny asked me how I was, and I was doing fine today. Well until they asked me that, then I let it all out: anger, pain, sadness, confusion." I looked at the pictures that were somehow not ruined, just the glass frames. Then took a deep breath, "ok well I'm taking James to visit your mom. You can still come with us." Jess said walking out of my room.

Should I? It could be the last time, no it won't be. But I still will go, I guess.

Then all 3 of us walked to the Rodriguez's house, because it was took far of a walk to the hospital.

I didn't want to face Benny, oh well.

-end of chapter-