Poems by The Living Tombstone System

Stuck Here

Waking up is more painful than dying
Looking down I cannot see the floor now
I wish I knew when everything changed
The mirror laughs at me when I smile

Who is this man, you ask.
I look at your shadow and feel my heart drop
Knives down my throat along with a cup of tea
Vomit and acid builds up in my throat.

Keep your plate to yourself
A circle can't turn into a triangle or square
Weeks ago it was all okay for you
Then it all turned against me

Do you enjoy seeing me this way?
Mirrors break at my sight
Drop the numbers on the ground
I feel sick at the sight of my own shadow

Doubles, triples, quadruples
Numbers haunt me at night all the time
Dreaming about looking like someone but myself
Going from green to red then yellow to orange

It haunts me that you don't need to worry
I don't fit in that bed and I never have
I can just sleep on the floor
Your shirt is the only thing making me feel sane

A biscuit and a coffee today
Your smile is so pretty when you're happy
Blurriness covers my eyes every time I look at you
I wish I knew how to make you not cry

Correct body but wrong mind
Call me every name on the list
But I won't ever reply to them
Because my name has been stained by numbers

I am sick to my stomach and my body hurts
Why are you next to me on the bathroom floor?
Love is fictional and unreal
Circles are not worth loving anymore

You are so perfect and amazing
I wish I knew how I looked if it all were different
Stuck in this loop hurts us both
You don't know how much I want to die

Death is the only way out sometimes
Love has hurt us both enough
Circles and numbers are a curse on earth
Kiss me goodbye then leave in disgust

Matted hair and broken hairbrush
Yellow teeth and dirty toothbrush
Dirty face and smashed mirrors
My safe place has been uncovered

Throwing it all up for you
I want you to love me how I am
But I do not even love myself like that
Sadly yours, F. I.

-written by F-ie