(Mikes POV)
I fucking hate myself.
Why do I like him? Why do I still like him? I did everything I was supposed to. I'm dating a girl and I care about her. Care about her? No, I love her. No... that doesn't feel right. Why can't I lover her? I kissed her, I made out with her! Why do I still not love her? Why do I still like Will?
I look back up at the chalkboard and scribble in my last notes.
-
Walking out of class, I see Wills grey backpack in front of me. He's there. If I walk any faster, I'll be next to him. Should I? No, I won't. But then Will stops. Shit.
He turns around and looks around. Please don't see me. Please please please don't see me.
His eyes land on mine and the least I can do is run away.
I storm into the next hall, trying to find a place to hide. I hear footsteps near me and I can't bring my legs to move.
"What is this?" I hear Will say.
I turn around and I see him. Will looks absolutely destroyed. Of course he does! His best friend is ignoring him and he doesn't even know why! Jesus, I'm such an asshole!
"What?" I say. Will shakes his head in disbelief while coming up closer to me.
"Why do you keep ignoring me?" He pokes me in the chest.
"I-I'm not!" I quickly say, trying to brush off my emotions.
"Oh, come on! Do you seriously think I'm this stupid? What did I do to you? Tell me, Mike. What did I do?!" He folds his hands.
At a loss for words, I literally do not know how to answer. What do I say?
Stuttering and stumbling over my words, I say, "Seriously? I- I just had a bad day. Okay? That's all. Or can you not accept that? Because to me, it seems like you just take everything WAY too seriously!"
I can already see his eyes water.
"Fuck you, Mike! You don't know what it's like!"
I really want to tell him how I feel and I'm so close to doing it. But I can't.
"What it's like to what?! What it's like to be a f- asshole?! You always find some way to blame everything on me and then play yourself off as the victim!" I regret everything I said right at that moment.
"Really, Mike?! Really original of you. Really original of you to use my OWN FEELINGS against myself! I hate you!" He pushes me away and runs out of the hall.
Shit. Why would I say that to him?
Without even thinking straight, I run after him.
"Will, wait! I'm sorry!" I shout to him.
"Sorry won't solve this Mike!" He starts running faster.
"Will, wait!"
He runs out of the building and- of course.- it's raining.
His sobs are deafened out by the loud plattering of the rain, but I can hear them. They're the only thing that I can hear. Why am I so stupid.
When I'm finally close enough, I grab his hand.
"Will, please! I'm sorry!"
For a moment, Will stares at our intertwined hands, then up at me. I've never realized how beautiful he actually looks.
He rips his hand away from mine, scoffing.
"Go to hell , Mike," He says softly and runs away.
"Will, stop!" My legs are already tired but I won't stop. I won't stop until I know he's okay.
"Can you stop following me?!" He yells at me. I could hear the pain in his voice.
"No! I won't stop until you accept my apology!" I keep running towards him.
"Mike, go away! I don't care anymore!" Will speeds up.
"Will, please!" The rain is hitting the ground hard now.
"Mike, I said I don't care!" He stops and turns around. "So what? I care!" I try and scream over the rain. "No! I know you don't care! You never did! All you ever cared about was El! Just leave me alone!" This time, he doesn't run. "What? That's not true! I do care about you! I always have, you're my best friend, Will!" He rolls his eyes. "See, that's the problem. This exact thing! You say you care but then you end up ignoring me again!" Why would he think that? I care about him! I care about him a whole lot! He's my best friend!
"Will-" He pushes me away again.
"I said go away!"
This time, I don't run after him. And now it's official. I've ruined our friendship.
