toxic love -RAFE CAMERON-

46. cuddles

rafes pov:

its been about 20 minutes, kayeln was fast asleep but i wasn't. i was just rubbing her back while she slept.

my phone dinged, with a message i picked up the phone and oh- it wasn't my phone it was kaylens.

it didn't mean to be nosy but naturally i started to read the message that popped up.

trever:
hey, ik we haven't hung out in awhile and its late rn but would you wanna hang soon? i miss you <3

last time we hung out was super fun and i miss it lmao

what the fuck.

this was the guy she told me about.

was she talking to him? why did he send a heart? he misses her? was she cheating? no! she wouldn't cheat! or she would? i dont know.

fuck!

i needed to get my mind off of things.

i got out from under her and i was about to kiss her head but i was mad, she could've cheated on me with this trever dude.

i stormed out of her room (quietly) and left her house.

i got in my car and drove to "my spot"

i got out of the car and walked near the waterfall, admiring how beautiful it looked.

"hi mom" i say.

"i miss you a lot. its one of those days, when i wish you were here and could take me here" i say.

"well i wish you were here, everyday, but you know what i mean" i add.

"i wanted to update you, on a lot. i started to go to therapy, i think its really helping me. and i just did a 30 day rehab thingy which made me want to be no where near drugs right now, but my craving for alcohol is insane." i say.

"the only thing stopping me from drinking is kaylen, b-but i just found out she might like someone else? i dont know what to do mom."

"i really fucking need you right now. or at least one of your hugs." i say.

"sarah misses you to, i know it. a-and whezzie doesn't remember you much, but i know she whishes you were here. it really sucked for her. sarah helped with her first period, i helped with her first day of middle school and making sure she had a lunch to take. now she likes to be independent and hang out with her friends, she is going in to grade 8 after the summer." i say.

" im ganna tell her lots about you the next time i see you, and show her so many pictures. mom i really miss you. so much" i say.

i feel my eyes start to water so i bring my hand up and wipe away my tears.

"i hate rose, mom. shes so rude to me. she only cares abouts dads money and to be honest shes a total bitch. and i know i may just be saying this because i miss you, but even topper and kelce dont like her, they cant be biased" i say.

"i still have the teady bear you gave me, cuddles, in my bed, i sleep with it whenever im alone, it helps keep my calm when im stressed also." i say.

"anyways if you can hear me i love you. a lot. bye mom" i whisper.

i get back in my car and look before turning, i then drive to my house.

when i get home i need to fulfill my craving so i do.

i open a cabinet and grab a bottle of whiskey, pouring it in to a shot glass.

one shot wont hurt.

ive had 6 shots, and i felt, great, i may be a little drunk, but i felt great.

fuck kaylen if she wants to fuck another guy, and fuck therapy, and fuck rehab, fuck everything!

i walk up to my room and strip down to my boxers before getting in to my bed.

i grab ahold of cuddles, and hug it until i manage to fall asleep.

~

the next morning i woke up, and had no hangover, which was great.

i sigh as i see its only 5am.

i set down cuddles and go to brush my teeth.

i decide to go down to the gym in our house and work out.

i still wonder if she cheated on me.

im so confused.

alcohol is the only thing that can make me feel better right now but i cant, i promised kaylen i wouldn't, but what would that matter! she cheated on me!

i dont give a fuck what she says, she message definitely meant something.

a/n:

sorry for a short chapter