pants

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i had to put on pants today
the same ones ive had for years
they should have fit perfectly
but it was just as id feared
id lost more than id thought
hanging off my hips
i had to put on pants today
i really didnt want to
the days blend together
and nothing makes sense
but i had to put on pants today
and realize what ive done
ive destroyed my body wholly
losing weight like im losing my mind
but im eating id say to myself
but i know thats a lie
i had to put on pants today
and go out into the world
the world is not kind to an anorexic girl
i had to put on pants today
and they shoulda fit perfectly
but just like everything else it wasnt meant to be

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