6 months and im back again or maybe im not back
same place 6 months forward
i feel good, i feel healthy and strong and happy
so why after all this work after all this effort can i not stop falling into these mind pitfalls
i laugh and remember the guilt
i eat and remember the pain
i go to sleep and remember faces
getting better is really a constant state
there is no better, there is no true destination
there is progress and more progress
and even those pitfalls
its 6 months and im "home" again, but home has become a stranger
i know all the roads
i know all the faces
but they remember a ghost
a me that i took w my own two hands and shattered the rest of the way to her inevitable destruction
they remember the girl who drowned her loneliness and hid her heart so far away that even she couldnt find it
its 6 months later and im here
how do you come back from that
how do you look those people in the eye and see your phantom and not flinch
shes not that gone shes not so far away
that me who isnt me
the addict, the whore, the monster
how do you come back from that
when you know thats what they expect, what they want
they want me to relapse, to need them again
they want my attention, now that my peace means they no longer have a say in my life
you see what i mean by pitfalls
its easy to take a trip down memory lane
its easy to fall into that pessimistic mindset
its easy to hate and its harder to love
its hard to find love for those parts of me that are so essential to my own being
its hard to love and trust that its real
its been 6 months and now its time for real growth to start
YOU ARE READING
Thought Collection
RandomLife is full of hardship, whether it be of your own making or it happening to you, we all go through it. I guess this is just me, going through it. Hope this helps at least one person.
