Who was Sicheng all alone, behind closed doors. Behind the blackout curtains, behind the rich kid who seemed odd who is odd but still fits like a glove to the society . Who was he really?
Staring at his reflection as he watched the water droplets rolling off his face in the bathroom mirror, Sicheng remembers, he remembers what an egotistical bastard he really was. Slamming the door shut, he was greeted by a toothy grin from Xuxi his darling gremlin. Sitting down next to him Sicheng exhaled. A huge puff if he were to be in the crisp winter air, Sicheng was himself again, on that far corner in the house where his best friend commented that Sicheng's room had a great view.
Xuxi gushed on about his day, talking something along the lines of his newest friend group and something along a yatch party. Sicheng couldn't pay attention anymore to whatever words were spouting out of Xuxi's mouth. He lied down on his lap, closing his eyes and shutting off the outside world. Ignoring Xuxi altogether.
He does not know why guilt creeped up on his heart and squeezed it tighter. As he opened his eyes again; he caught Xuxi's expression changing from disappointment to compromising, yet again. As if they've been playing this game of Xuxi bending down to whatever Sicheng craves. As if Sicheng had always been the selfish one, a thousand times probably. Dejectedly, Xuxi stroked Sicheng's hair till he fell asleep. Wishing upon the stars or the city lights; Xuxi had terrible eyesight- to let him has his peace with his so called best friend.
Tomorrow Sicheng tells himself, liar. I will listen to Xuxi tomorrow. He won't, but every night he tries anyway. Sicheng himself find it hard to listen to people wholeheartedly; somewhere along the line he gets bored of them or what they are saying problems or happy news, anything, everything bored him.
Sicheng had to always reach out first. That was one of the many things he disliked about Xuxi. He had to always start up a conversation, always ask him how he's doing. Ask him about any plans or to hang out. It had always been Sicheng to make the first move. It was not even that Xuxi is shy. Quite the contrary, Xuxi was a very social man, he knew people everywhere anywhere, anytime to belong. But he had always wanted someone to come to him; someone who would unconditionally return to him day after day. And Sicheng was that person.
Maybe it's because of this secret dependency that both Sicheng and Xuxi felt a strain in their relationship. And these days, Sicheng found himself reaching to his other friends more and more. It was easier that ringing up Xuxi's number...
And you don't think I know what you've done
But when call me baby
I know I'm not the only one.
