At Your Service [Tommy Shelby]

Curiosity

Lizzie's demeanour quickly changed however when mister Shelby arrived at home again. He came back in a rather nasty mood and she seemed to only multiply it by copying his. The children, for the most part, found refuge with the household staff, as heated arguments reverberated throughout the premises. 

Vivian, in her noble attempt to divert their attention, took them for a leisurely stroll along the estate's perimeter and engaged them in some arts and crafts. However, they were not stupid and knew what happened when their father returned in a state like that. 

Vivian couldn't help but harbor frustration and resentment toward Thomas Shelby for his behavior and toward Lizzie for her contribution to the toxic atmosphere that pervaded the household. It was a disheartening environment that took a toll on both the children and the staff.

Francis remained optimistic, assuring the staff that things would improve when business turned around. Vivian clung to that hope, for she knew that the compensation she received was far from commensurate with all that was going on right now. Everyone had hopes things would turn around again before the birthday party of Charles. It is supposed to be a happy occasion and it would be awful if those two had their heads too far up their own asses to not even give a child his special day of the year.

After having to arrange breakfast and dinner for both Lizzie and Thomas she got to experience firsthand the phenomenon that Cathy had warned her about earlier. 'Cause Lizzie turned a special kind of nasty to any woman in the same room as her husband, and this seemed to rile Thomas up even more. Turns out Lizzie is a very very jealous woman.. 

Vivian, mindful of the volatile situation, attempted to stay clear of the couple as much as possible while still fulfilling her responsibilities. It was a delicate balance to strike, for she understood that her job demanded she be present, but the tension in the household was palpable and she didn't want to inadvertently add to it. 

To add to insult, her night terrors persisted, driving her to spend several sleepless nights seeking solace outside, where she could smoke and gather her thoughts. She wasn't certain if anyone had noticed her late-night excursions, but at that point, her concern for such matters had waned. She realized that Mr. Shelby hadn't resumed his surveillance, a relief she welcomed. 

While she didn't know if she was breaking any rules regarding the wandering at night, she did know she was doing one thing that would be frowned upon and perhaps could cost her her job. Since she was out of smokes herself and she didn't even have time to go out and buy any, she just took an occasional cigarette from the cigaretteholders placed on some cabinets and desks throughout the house. She didn't know if anyone noticed, but she figured they were refilled every day, and mister Shelby wouldn't notice it since he doesn't seem to be able to keep track on how much he smokes a day. Vivian guesses that the stress of the awful atmosphere in the house added to the stress she was already experiencing at night, that is probably also why she is so wreckless with breaking any potential rules.

When Francis arrived bearing good news one morning, it was a welcome respite from the tense atmosphere that had gripped the household. Business had indeed turned around, and Mr. Shelby had successfully closed another deal, the very deal that had initially made him so unbearable. The details of this transaction remained shrouded in secrecy, and Vivian preferred to keep it that way. She had a sense that it involved some unsavory business, but she had no desire to delve into the particulars. She understood that certain aspects of Mr. Shelby's dealings were best left unquestioned.

One particular evening, as Mr. Shelby returned home late, Vivian rushed to inform him of a persistent caller who had been trying to reach him throughout the day. However, when she caught sight of him in the harsh light, she couldn't help but be taken aback. His suit was stained with blood, and shock painted her face. Thomas, ever perceptive, acknowledged her reaction with a simple directive: "I know, go to bed."

Without uttering a word, Vivian turned away with a blank stare and retreated to her chamber. What she didn't realize was that Thomas was not only physically exhausted but also deeply disheartened by the fact that she had witnessed him in such a disheveled state. The weight of his secrets and the darkness of his business dealings weighed heavily on him, and the vulnerability she had glimpsed was something he had tried to shield from her and everyone else.

~

Thomas Shelby had actually made it a point in his head to get to know Vivian better, but he did not really know how. With all the toxicity in the house, everytime he saw her she radiated a sort of serenity and peace that he's been searching for for a while now. While at first he wanted to keep distance, to not start any drama, he's been mesmerized by her. 

Every time he caught himself thinking about her, he cringed, fully aware of the impracticality and potential complications of such feelings. After all, she didn't know him at all. In fact, he had never even introduced himself to her, and the occasions when he had spoken to her could be counted on one hand, mostly consisting of brief expressions of gratitude for her assistance.

As Thomas Shelby finally took the time to read Vivian's CV, he was genuinely surprised by what he discovered. Learning that she had worked as a nurse during the war cast her in a completely different light. It was a revelation that resonated with him on a deeper level.

Perhaps, he thought, that was why he found himself so captivated by her. Vivian represented a rare individual from the opposite sex who might come closest to comprehending his own struggles, the haunting memories of the war, and what it was like to experience the horrors of France. He had always been reticent about admitting how profoundly the war had affected him. Unlike Danny and Arthur, he had often believed it didn't leave as lasting a mark. But he now understood that he had been wrong.

The war had shaped everything he had become, everything he did. It had left an indelible mark on his soul, one he struggled to reconcile with. If there was even the slightest possibility that Vivian, a woman, could understand the scars and torment he carried, he felt a profound desire to establish a connection with her. It wasn't about wooing her or pursuing a romantic interest, but rather having someone as compassionate and sensitive as a woman who might attempt to ease his troubled mind, or at the very least, empathize with his pain.

This is however something that Tommy himself doesn't even realise, he feels this attraction, but in his mind he cannot connect this to the theme of war. He is not one to speak about his feelings and he won't admit to wanting to connect to someone to talk about it. But there is apperantly something in him that yearns for this softness, this understanding, this opportunity to rid him of the continuous haunting of his demons. For now though he blames this curiosity for her on her looks, her radiation of serenity in these turbulous times and her innocence.

He's felt this shyness around her, that he has not felt in a long time. He acts cold to her, as a boss to a servant, because that is what he knows best. Besides he is literally her boss, it would be wrong to make her assume any more than that. Perhaps one day he should start a conversation, perhaps on the oncoming party. At least not when he is covered in someone else's blood. 

He had heard from Francis that she had never heard of the Shelby's. She was absolutely oblivious to the fact he and the Peaky Blinders were so notorious and feared around all of Birmingham and beyond. She was probably scared senseless when she was warned about the consequences, were she to share anything that happened between these walls. 

This made his curiosity grow, he had a chance to get to know someone who's not swayed by the public opinion or by his acts of cruelness that was wellknown throughout the towns. It was that yearning again.. He was a smart man, but this he did not understand.