𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 - 𝑪.𝑭

chapter six

conrads pov:

she thinks we're together? is that why she's playing nice from a distance. she's been sending me mixed signals. one day she's smiling at me, offering me scones and juice, the next she's ignoring me. 

brooke and i will never happen, hazel doesn't know the truth. i need to tell her what happened last summer. why she can't remember that night of the party.

she thinks it was the alcohol. but she doesn't know the truth.

can you tell someone something so horrible, how can it be so casual? 

oh hey by the way you were roofied at that party last summer

no. it wasn't simple. these past ten months, i looked for every-way i could tell her. to make her believe i would never intentionally hurt her. 

the thing about hazel was that she was the girl who could enter a room, and it would just light up. her dimples. her smile. her soft voice in the mornings.

but i was already carrying a burden of a secret. my mother was keeping a secret from us all, except laurel. but she didn't know i knew. jere didn't even know and it killed me. how could i keep this from him any longer. something as big as this should be told, not kept at the expense of your families happiness.

my mother had cancer. i'm still yet to figure out what stage and where it was. my father was barely around anymore, i dont know why nor do i care. he's an A grade asshole if you asked me.

back to hazel. 

i missed her. she was the oxygen i breathed. i liked to refer myself to the rose from beauty and beast on a constant basis. yes beauty and the beast, hazel made me watch that movie every night for five summers. i know it word for word. 

i pictured myself as the rose. it falling apart slowly as time went on, no one to help it and no one to tend to its care. it's quite sad actually. but thats how my life started to feel when hazel left me that summer. 

i still remember her face when she jumped into her car after catching brooke kissing me. if only she knew the truth behind it all, the reason why i was talking to brooke. if only she had been there a few seconds earlier, she would've found out the truth. 

brooke was a venomous snake, who sucked the life out of everyone in her life. she was toxic, and  emotionally charged. she was vermin. 

i always had a bad feeling about her, but if hazel was happy it didn't matter. 

when hazel was happy, i was. when she was sad, i was sad. so seeing hazel for the first time in months was like fireworks exploding in my heart, she was the exact same. same hair, same attitude. if anything i fell for her all over again. 

but my mind still goes back to that party, seeing hazel in that bedroom. him on top of her, brooke laughing in the corner. i remember ripping him off her, my fist clashing with his jaw and crimson blood dispersing.

every-thing brooke did that summer was to humiliate to hazel, to prove a point. all brooke wanted, was me. and now it's my fault. my fault this happened to her. 

my brother rushes through my bedroom door, a towel hung over his side with a pair of sun glasses spread over his face "were having a few beers down the beach, coming?". i go to answer with a no, but my eyes focus on the brunette walking past us. 

her figure pulled back into a yellow bikini, it tugging at her olive skin. i practically scream "yes!" a little too loud, and possibly a little too quickly. she peaks into the room on her walk by, a small gaze and a smile at me before she continues into her room. 

"sweet i guess i'll meet you there then" jere answers hesitantly before shooting off down the stairs, i watch as he almost trips over his feet on the way down. 

my daily wardrobe practically consists only of surf brands and flip-flops, so i was already set. but her little figure was imprinted in my mind, the urge i was holding to not go kiss her and tell her everything. 

i find myself leaning against her bedroom door, watching as she fixes her hair in her mirror. she catches me, turning around with a laugh she furrows her eyebrows "is there something i can do for you mr fisher?". 

arms crossed over my chest and smiling at the ground, i shake my head "absolutely not miss clarke, i was actually going to ask for your company down the beach".

she spins back on her heels, combing her fingers through her hair like brush she nods her head "gimme a second". 

i watch as she ties the band, over three times for tightness i assume. hazel reaches over her desk chair, grabbing a-hold of her beach towel before following me down the beach. 

our feet seep into the sand grains, it's hot but it takes only a few short seconds to adjust to the heat. 

"so jeremiah begged you to come too?" she says with a little laugh. fuck i missed that. laughing back with her, i nod my head "yeah you know how jere is, wherever belly goes he goes too."

she nods her head, knowing how her best friends were. they were inseparable, almost too inseparable. but i know that feeling all too well, it was what hazel and i were. always together, we would sleep in the same bed, eat at the same time, we would go crazy without each other. 

silence streams down the beach, the sound of the waves crashing and seagulls in the sky-line could be heard from miles away. 

"brooke and i aren't dating" i spurt out, breaking the silence between us. she cracks her head at me, almost like she's surprised "what?" she asks. 

another moment of silence is shared between us, "we're not dating you know. i don't even speak to her, let alone see her" random words start jumping from my mouth, like it's own game of scrabble. and she laughs, god what am i doing? i'm embarrassing myself, she probably thinks i'm high or something, or making excuses. 

thats when i feel a slight tug on my shirt, we stopped walking and hazel is stood in front of me. when did she get there?

"that's uh nice to know" she smirks as she rearranges a piece of hair behind her, moving back down the beach.

conrad 1 - brooke 0