Lost

Chapter 43

ELLIE JONES

Today is the day I move in with Alfie. My mum was not the happiest when I told her of my decision, but she didn't disallow it. I'm sure it's because she also wants some alone time with Joe, but that's something I would rather not even think about.

I carry my luggage down the stairs when I hear the bell ring and I say goodbye to my mum and Joe, who seems to be making himself at very at home now that I've officially moved out. Alfie helps me carry my extremely heavy luggage to the car and into the car boot.

"Jesus Ellie, what did you bring?" He asks as he lifts in into the boot. "Just my necessities," I reply, giving him a pat on the back and getting into the car.

"So, since todays your first day, I think we should do a little grocery shopping for some foods you like and just shop for things in general so you feel more comfortable," Alfie suggests. This whole process felt like we were living together permanently, even though I would move out after finding my own apartment in the future.

He brings my luggage into the apartment and puts in in the room. He tells me that I can use the first two drawers and half of the closet space, which I appreciate. I open the luggage and unpack my things, hanging up all my clothes. I fold all my pyjamas and place it in the first drawer, hiding Isaiah's jacket underneath them. It feels like I am hiding my diary from my parents. But I don't want Alfie to see it and feel bad or feel like I still love Isaiah. Though I do still have feelings for him, I intend to just leave them as they are, and maybe even let go of them. But for now, they're there to stay. I place all my undergarments into the second drawer before placing my miscellaneous items like hair and skin products on the top of the dresser.

"All done unpacking?" He asks as he comes out of the restroom. I nod and he tells me we should do some grocery shopping so he can prepare dinner for us tonight. What did I do to deserve him?

I grab a trolley and push it into the store. I love vegetables and salads so I grab a ton of fresh produce and some prepackaged salads for days when I feel extra lazy. Alfie goes and grabs some home necessities such as toilet paper, soap, all that kind of things, while I continue shopping for food. I place some fresh fruit into the trolley, and some sauces as well.

"All set!" I tell him, and he pushes the trolley to the cashier. I take my wallet out and attempt to pay for the groceries but I'm clearly too slow because he's already paid.

"Seriously? Most of them are mine, I should pay for it," I tell him as he bags the groceries for us. "It's okay," he says, carrying the three bags and gesturing for me to go to the car.

As soon as we reach the apartment I keep all the groceries away in return for him paying for it all. I even offer to cook but he holds my shoulders and physically moves me to sit on the sofa. "I'll cook, you just sit here," he tells me, kissing me on my cheek. I sit and watch the television for a while, though I'm not really paying attention to whatever's on the screen.

After taking out the box yesterday, my mind has been so occupied. It's like I didn't just dig up memories, but I also dug up all the feelings that I've tried to hard to suppress and cast aside. It took me so long to push those strong feelings away before, so I hope it doesn't take me even longer to do the same now.

"Here," he hands me a plate of homemade pasta and a fork. It smells mouthwatering. We eat together, making some small talk.

"So about the bed..." Alfie asks. I tell him that I'd prefer sleeping alone in the room tonight if that's okay with him. "Of course, I completely understand," he says, caressing my arm.

I shift around in my sleep, the entire night was quite baffling and weird. Showering in a different bathroom with all his things inside made it seem weirder than I thought it would be, and lying here on this bed, knowing that Alfie is outside sleeping on the sofa also made things more odd. I sit up, unable to sleep. Maybe it's the bed, or maybe it's just the new environment, but I just can't seem to fall asleep no matter how much I try.

Moving the covers away from me, I get up and walk towards the drawer where my little secret is. I unearth his jacket from under all my pyjamas and put it on. His scent providing me comfort and the jacket providing me a unique sense of warmth. I cuddle back into the bed, slowly falling asleep while telling myself that this is the first and last time using this jacket.