bad blood

two

maya couldn't breathe. she looked around trying to figure out what happened. air bag, blood, glass, lights, the song that had been listening to, stubborn love, continued to play, "So keep your head up, keep your love"

realization hit, she looked over at matt, he was silent. the first thing she noticed was a huge cut on his arm, she assumed from the glass. she grabbed his arm, covering the cut. she watched as his blood drizzled down her hand.

"matt" she said panicking, "matt," she wanted to reach over and grab his face but she couldn't really move. "matty, please"

"i'm here my, right here" he said, wearily. his eyes were still closed, but he was talking.

maya felt like she could breathe again. hearing matt's voice was the biggest relief she'd ever felt. she kept her hand on his arm, she knew he could feel the pain but she was hoping he hadn't seen it. she really didn't want him to see it, it would stress him out. he's never been one for blood.

"can you hear the music?" maya had no idea what she was doing. holding matt's bleeding arm and asking about music, she felt useless. she couldn't feel her own body, although she had blood on her sweatshirt, chris's sweatshirt, and she couldn't really move.

"yeah my, s- stubborn love, one of your f- favorites" he whispered, just loud enough that she could hear him.

after what felt like hours a firetruck and ambulance's pulled up. they were both pulled out of the car, around the same time. maya a minute before, her being in the drivers seat and all. she watched as they pulled matt's limp body out of the car.

she knew he wasn't dead, but seeing him like that was her worst nightmare. she threw her hand over her mouth and stifled a scream. the firefighter tried to walk her over to an ambulance but she wouldn't budge. her eyes wouldn't leave matt.

"no no i'm not even hurt, i'm okay. look," she tried to walk, but stumbled, "please no just let me ride with him, i can't- i can't leave his side, please, please i'll see a doctor at the hospital just let me be with him."

begging did nothing for her, an emt grabbed her hand and talked her into following him to an ambulance. she calmed down a little bit inside, emt's directing her to do all sorts of things, checking her arms and legs, her heartbeat and all that.

the second she arrived at the hospital she was asking for matt again, they told her he went in for an emergency surgery, something about his arm. she felt somewhat helpless. matt was out of her reach and chris and nick hadn't the slightest clue of what was happening.

it was now in this moment of quiet that everything had sunk in, maya was now aware of the state of her own body  she'd noticed her own arm, bent, and her leg, bruised. she could feel blood running down her cheek. all she really felt was numb.

she asked for a phone to call chris. doctors denied, over and over telling her she needed immediate help. that's when the begging started. she told them she couldn't calm down until she talked to chris. he's the only person she wanted to talk to and conveniently, the only number she had memorized.

"chris?" her voice was shaking, she still felt like she couldn't breathe.

"maya?" she could tell he was half awake, "maya where are you"

"i- i- i'm at the hospital. w- we got into an accident. a bad one"

"where's matt? is he okay? maya what happened"

she went silent, unable to speak. she heard chris run to nick.

"maya? maya is matt with you"

"i- i-"

it was just now, in this moment that the guilt hit her. the accident wasn't her fault. a drunk driver had crashed into her car. but she couldn't shake it. hearing the pain in chris and nicks voices made her feel sick. she wanted to throw up. she could've ruined everything for them.

"he- he- he's okay. in surgery, his- his arm was bleeding" she cried, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, he- he's o-okay, i'm- i'm sorry"

"maya are you okay?"

"yeah, yeah i'm fine. i'm okay," she sobbed some more, "i'm so s-sorry"

"okay, okay, maya it's okay, we'll be there as soon as we can"

after the call she was giving stitches for a cut on her face, and her right arm and leg were both wrapped in casts, full casts. she sat quietly. tears streaming down her face. her typically talkative demeanor had disappeared completely.

they had brought matt into the same room as her, so they could be together. the second they brought him in and she saw him sleeping her heart melted, she asked for 'one of those hospital stuffed bears they give to little kids' for him to cuddle.

after hours of staying awake, she finally allowed herself to drift off. she wouldn't let herself sleep until she saw matt, but here he was alive and okay.

while the two were asleep, marylou had rushed chris and nick over, as neither of them could drive. the three of them first rushed to see matt, he was closer to the door and the one they hadn't heard from. marylou sat down next to him and cried.

chris finally looked over to see maya and his heart visibly dropped, "she- she said she was okay" he said. looking at the huge bruise and cut on her face, the blood on her hand, the two full length casts, "i should have asked her more, i thought she was okay"

he didn't leave her side for seven straight hours. it was only when matt began to wake up that christ moved.

matt and nick had reacted to maya no different than chris, it broke all of their hearts. they'd watched her go through hell and back, and it hurt more everytime. but this was the worst.

maya woke up after sleeping for hours, she hadn't known how long, the first thing she heard was matt giggling. she tried her best to look over at him. chris and nick were sat right next to him, they were all laughing. marylou was in the room, sitting in a chair smiling a little at whatever they had just said.

maya started crying again, she couldn't handle the guilt. at first no one really noticed she was awake until they could hear her practically choking on her tears. they all looked over. but chris was the first one by her side.

"i'm s- s- sorry. i- i- i'm sorry, i'm- i'm- sorry" she pleaded, barely speaking through her tears

"maya, maya, it's okay, it's okay," chris said rubbing her arm, "you're okay"

"i- all i remember was a car hitting mine, i- i'm sorry i- i- didn't think this would- i- this wasn't supposed to happen, is- is matt okay? i'm sorr-rry"

"maya please stop, baby, it's okay" he brushed the hair out of her face and gently rubbed the spot on her check where she had to get stitches.

"i- i tried my best to keep matt safe, he's okay right. oh my god" she cried bringing her left arm to her face, "this is so bad, this is so so bad, i'm sorry"