bad blood

eight

matt woke up alone in his bed. no tv on in the back, no snoring in his ear. silence.

first thing he noticed was the fact that nick hadn't even texted him back last night, he wasn't surprised to see that chris hadn't, but nick? how bad had he fucked up yesterday. he didn't think the fight was that bad. chris and maya fight all the time, and no one bats an eye.

but in reality, weather they realized it or not, matt and maya fighting was different. it always had another level of emotion, tension even.

which gave matt even more reason to entirely block her out.

he tried to go back to sleep but he just couldn't. it made him so fucking mad. the fact that she did this to him. seeing her instagram post was icing on the cake. it absolutely set him off. vodka? she hasn't drank in forever?

matt didn't know why she stopped drinking, not a clue that it was all because of him.

at this point his emotions were out of control. he felt like he was going through puberty again, all out of balance, like a 12 year old girl getting her period for the first time. going down for lunch was the only logical thing to do.

he needed protein. water. probably a meditation of sorts.

god she fucks him up.

he made himself, and his parents, some mac and cheese. he cut up vegetables and grabbed the hummus. he set the table up nicely and grabbed some pink lemonade. it only took him about 5 minutes to realize he had just made mayas favorite snack. he was no longer hungry.

so, he just sat there staring, after just a few minutes he could vaguely hear chris and maya yelling, followed by maya sliding herself down the stairs while chris looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack. matt thought maya looked like an idiot hobbling around. his idiot. if he kept looking at her any longer he would smile, and he couldn't let himself do that.

matt was sure she was in the wrong. he couldn't give in. he couldn't stand to watch them obsess over each other any longer. it was like living with newlyweds, without the sex, but all of the pet names, spoon feeding each other, and selfies. a nightmare.

"hey marylou, can you drive me back to my apartment?" maya said sweetly.

matt's jaw dropped. he was lucky they were all facing the other way, there was simply no way that she was leaving, no way chris would let her leave. he knew she wasn't leaving.

until she left.

he acted like it didn't matter. but it did. of course it did. but he wouldn't let it effect him. nick was back to being matt's bestfriend, they were comfy in bed watching tv. as per usual. matt hadn't uttered a word about maya and nick wasn't dumb enough to ask. ignorance is bliss you know.

when chris arrived home he went straight to matt's room, and sat on the floor. he laid his arms over his face and sighed. he didn't know how he could already miss maya so much. matt and nick could tell, but she was a touchy subject right now.

"your room smells like shit" chris complained, rolling to his stomach.

"really? i thought i got rid of the cause of the smell?" matt clapped back.

nicks eyes widened, not knowing what would happen.

"maybe it's you, go take a shower dickhead" chris said annoyed.

"what are you gonna come help me, wash my hair. maybe you'll brush my teeth if i'm lucky"

"fuck off"

"what? only your little angel baby face maya gets that treatment?" matt said, mocking the stupid nickname chris and maya call each other.

"you are the dumbest bitch i've ever heard speak" chris said about to get up, until he noticed his phone light up. maya was calling. already.

he picked up right away, rushing the phone to his ear.

"what? she couldn't stand to be without you?-" matt began to say, but he stopped when he watched chris' face drop.

"no you didn't" chris said, painfully serious, hint of disappointment but mostly a calm panic.

matt's mind went a mile a minute. what did she do? is she okay? did she hurt herself? did she try to leave the house? ...

it hit him, she drank. he knew she was drunk.

"maya have much have you drank?" chris asked worried, he got up and began to pace.

matt so badly wanted chris to put her on speaker, but he knew he couldn't ask, and he would never let himself.

"fuck maya" chris said running his hand through his hair

nick and matt looked at each other, unsure of how to react.

"no no maya stop please. just drink some water and go to bed yeah?" chris said trying to be calm, and he was doing a good job, until maya hung up.

chris stared at his phone screen, then looked up at matt and nick. they were all silent. chris began pacing again, while matt and chris just watched.

"i don't know what to do" chris said.

"she's fine chris" nick said calmly, "maya is independent, she can handle herself"

"but what if she can't?" chris said worried.

"what other eighteen year old girls that you know live on their own?" nick said, "maya knows what she's doing. i know recently she's really been leaning on you, but she's okay"

"yeah" matt said sighing

"and i think you've been extra anxious about her ever since the accident. i know it kills you that you couldn't be there to protect her so now you want to be there for her all the time, but chris, you know how she is, if she wants to be alone she wants to be alone."

chris continued to run his hands through his hair, "yeah, yeah you're right"

"chris you should probably just go to sleep, you can finally get a good night sleep without someone latched on to you" matt laughed.

chris on the other hand did not laugh. he glared at matt, and walked out of the room.

the boys all slept in their own rooms, without each other, for the first time in weeks. except none of them slept. they were all too anxious to fall asleep, 'what if's running through their heads. they all wished she was there with them.