Letting Him Save Me || ✎

Chapter 21

Stella POV

The smell of food pulls me from the deep sleep I was in. I slowly open my eyes and see Clayton setting a tray of food down on the coffee table in front of me. He looks back to me and I give him a smile.

"Good morning." He says.

"Good morning," I say through a stretch. "What time is it? How long did I sleep for?"

"It's almost 7pm. You've been asleep for about 4 hours."

"Ah, that's a lot longer than I thought I was going to sleep. I'm sorry if I was in the way or ruined your schedule." 

"No, you didn't ruin or get in the way of anything. It was a quiet day here. It was a breeze." He assures me. "Maryanne usually picks me up dinner on nights I work late and she grabbed some for you too."

I sit up and once I look towards the coffee table, my empty stomach makes its presence known. On the tray is a bunch of fast food placed on fancy looking plates.

"Why is it so fancy?" I giggle.

"What do you mean?" He asks me with a sarcastic smile.

"It's McDonald's it doesn't need a bow, eating out of the bag is more fitting." I say through laughs.

"Hey!" He jokingly shouts. "I worked my ass off to build an empire, I deserve my McDonald's on a tray and some nice china!" He chuckles.

I continue laughing, surprised at this side of him. From what I've seen of him he's usually always businessy or intimidating. It's nice to see him relaxed and joking around, he feels more human and I find myself starting to warm up to him and get more comfortable with his company. 

We continue to joke over small things as we eat our food. I end up asking about how he started his company, and he tells me it was his fathers dream that he brought to life in his honor after he passed away years ago. It's very touching and he speaks of his father with a great fondness in his tone and adoration in his eyes. 

"What about your mom?" I ask.

His smile fades and his mask forms once again. I immediately regret asking as I already miss his less serious side.

"My mother," He starts, looking downwards towards his hands that are propped up by his elbows on his knees. "Is not a very great person." 

My hand immediately shoots to his arm in an attempt at comfort, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

He slowly turns his head to look at me and our eyes meet. I try my best to hold his gaze but it's just so intimidating. Not in a nerve-wracking way like it used to, but because there's so much emotion behind them, it's almost like I'm looking right into all the cracks in his heart life has given him. It quickly starts becoming too much for me and I glance away. Once I return my eyes to his the wall is back up and I see nothing. 

I sigh, sensing that the funner side of him has been shut away again. 

"When does Maryanne usually go home?" I ask, hoping it was soon because the silence was beginning to grow deafening.

"She was just waiting for you to wake up." He responds, staring at the fireplace in front of us.

"Oh, shoot. She could've woken me up." I say before standing up to let her know I'm ready to leave whenever she is. 

"Wait," Clayton calls from behind me. 

I turn to look at him, still walking until I reach the door.

He takes a few steps closer to me before speaking, "I'm going out with a few friends tomorrow night. We're just bowling and catching up since we haven't seen each other in awhile. Maryanne is coming and I just wanted to stretch the invitation to you as well."

My cheeks start to feel warm, "Oh, thank you. That's very kind of you, you don't have to."

He stuffs his hands into his pockets and glances down at his shoes before responding, "Well, I think we're friends so I'd enjoy it if you were there."

A smile tries to make its way to my face and I let a small part of it show, "I'll be there."

"Great, I'll see you tomorrow." He says softly.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I tell him before exiting his office and slowly shutting the door behind me. 

I let Maryanne know I'm ready to leave whenever she is and she's quick to grab her purse and I follow her out. 

The ride back to the penthouse is quiet after we exchange how our days went and she lets me know that the tutor has his trial session tomorrow morning. Once the car is parked and we make our way up, I head immediately to shower. The water was warm and so relaxing that I had to convince myself to get out.

Once I exit the bathroom after getting ready for bed I realize my throat is a little dry and I make my way to the kitchen to get some water. Once I exit the dark hallway and make my way around the corner to the kitchen I see Maryanne standing against the counter dressed in pajama bottoms and a cardigan wrapped around her body with a wine glass in one hand and a kindle in the other. 

She sees me enter the kitchen and gives me her full attention.

"Hi Stella." She says with a warm smile.

"Hi Maryanne." I smile back.

I grab a glass and start filling it with water.

"I wanted to talk to you about something. Come sit once you have your water?"

I nod in response and she makes her way to the table and takes her usual seat, one foot resting on the floor and the other under her leg, knee leaning against the table.

Once my glass is full, I make my way over to her and sit in the seat I sat in this morning that lies across from her. 

"So, you're not in trouble and you haven't done anything wrong so don't think that." She smiles and I give her a nod in response.

"I just wanted to sit you down and tell you that I'm here if you ever need anything. I know from your file that the panic attack you had in the office the day I adopted you isn't a rare occurrence and I don't want you to ever have to experience something that scary alone anymore. I've known you a few short days and I already know that you're a bright, smart, beautiful young woman that has so much potential to do many great things. I want to help you reach all your goals and support whatever it is you dream about."

She pauses as she takes a sip from her wine glass and I sip from my glass of water.

"I didn't see myself adopting a child. I never really felt like I would be a good parent as I'm always busy working, but after spending these last few days with you and acting as a parent would, I can't lie, it's starting to grow on me. You're growing on me. I want to help you thrive, and help you learn. In a short amount of time I already feel a paternal bond or instinct start to grow and..." She pauses. "I'm looking for the right way to explain this." She pauses again. "I think the easiest way to put it is I want to be someone you trust."

I say nothing. 

Honestly, it's a lot. 

I'm not entirely sure how to react. My heart feels happy, but my head tells me that we've been here before. My biggest personal flaw, was that I always held onto hope. 

Hope that my parents would wake up and be parents.

Hope the the foster system would stop being so shitty.

Hope that I'd end up with a loving family. 

Endless amounts of hope for things that didn't deserve it. I've lectured myself a thousand times before but I can never fully extinguish the flame that keeps the hope alive. 

The biggest problem is that hope can spread a wildfire if not contained. And I have never been strong enough to contain it.