Same Experiences

Chapter Twenty Four

Dave

I didn't know what to say, so I just shrugged.

"On my tenth birthday," George said, her tone sounding pained. "My dad came back extremely drunk and raped me."

I turned to look at her in horror. Did I hear that right?

"He never did it again. But, sometimes he used to come back to try to do it again and pass out on top of me. That's what triggered the panic attack that night," she said, keeping her eyes on the water.

"Since that time, I had a habit of not telling anyone about anything, because I was worried that I was burdening them with my own problems. A few years ago, I got a letter from my dad. I opened it this year. I found a memory card inside. There were three videos in it. One was of the day I ran away, second was when he got out of the rehab and third when he decided that he wanted to die of kidney failure than living with dialysis."

I saw her hands grip the railing and I was scared that she'll break it or hurt herself.

"In the third video," she said, her eyes closing as she steeled herself. "He said that he knew he did something to me. He didn't remember what he did, but he knew. I'm thankful that he didn't remember because I just know he would've killed himself. And I wouldn't wish death by suicide on anyone. I felt guilty. I thought that he chose death because of me. But he didn't. It was his own decision, I had nothing to do with it."

Pain gnawed at my chest. I felt like I was going to explode. I just wanted to hug her tightly and kiss her till she forgot about all that. Her eyes opened again. 

She sniffled and said, "I couldn't bear the thought that I hurt you. So I decided to let you go. I thought that if I let you go, you'd move on and find someone who can trust you with their secrets. I thought, at least you'd be safe from the pain that I could give you."

My brain was still stuck on the words 'let you go.'

Let me go? Jesus. Here I was, not being able to imagine my life without this woman and she was letting me go.

"But, after yesterday I've understood that I don't have to deal with everything myself," she said, looking at me. The forest in her forest grey eyes was burning up with the emotions in them.

"What happened yesterday?" I asked when I found my voice.

She looked away again and started wringing her wrists.

"I'd gone to the club. And I kinda met a guy," she said. Jealousy solidified every muscle in my body.

"I stopped it, but he tried to keep going, even if I asked him to stop. So, um. I kicked his nuts, broke his jaw and kicked him in the ribs three times."

I forgot my anger and jealousy for a minute as I asked, "You broke his jaw?"

She nodded sheepishly. I held her arm gently and turned her to face me, but her head was still down, seeing the floor.

I placed my index finger under her chin and tipped her head to look into her eyes.

"Woman, you should be proud," I said. "Why are you embarrassed?"

She shrugged a shoulder and said, "I don't know. I didn't mean to hit so hard."

I chuckled softly as I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"That's okay," I said. "If I'd been there, I'd broken every single bone in his body."

Her breath hitched as she looked at me. Her eyes went to my lips and I crashed my lips to hers.