𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄

¹²-𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲

“A girl is sitting in bed, reading all the pages of her not so secret affair.”

12th of August 1995

DEAR DIARY today James kissed me under the sun. You will find it kind of showy since we have kissed a lot of times.
This all looks like a fairy tale but there's something weird about it all. He doesn't want to walk on sidewalks or even go to the bigger beach in town, i know he told me about his parents, but i don't believe that's the reason he is like that.
Anyways, today in the beach I told him I loved him but he didnt answer me, i guess that he isn't used to that.
But all I want is him telling me he loves me that much.

20 th August 1995

Today James feels distant, he is lying on my sofa, looking at the horizon behind the blinds.
Dusk is coming and he turns to me with a smile on his face, kissing me softly and carrying me to the sofa with him.
I see a movie on the table, he must have bought it, that makes my heart beat increase. He says he bought this movie for us to see and i smirk, because this proves that he loves me, this proves that i have mistaken him.

Agustine takes a big red marker and writes FUCK YOU JAMES in all the pages, she has smudged mascara all over her eyes and you can see that she is crying, even if she doesn't want to show that. But she continues reading, because she still loves him, stupid of her, but that's what love is.

He puts the movie on the tv, Pretty Woman, i can't say I haven't seen it, but he doesn't need to know that when he pulls me close and kisses me in the forehead.

25 th of August 1995

Dear diary, i think I love James, at first i thought it was just a silly crush, but every time he looks at me I want to keep him close, i want the world to know that he is mine. I guess that the words where in front of me all this time, and i have told him that i love him thousands of times, but i really mean it. I love him more than I have ever loved someone. I don't want September to come, but somewhat i feel that he will call back.

The red head tears that page from the diary and cries out loud, ripping it a million little times.
She is no longer in the summer house, now she is in her home, hearing her parents fight. And when the nights come her mother enters the room and hugs her under the moonlight, promising her that love is not like that, but i guess that James isn't the only liar of her life.

Augustine takes the paper pieces and throws them to the trashcan, then she goes to her table, taking the pamphlet she found on her school bathroom.

Betty's party
Next weekend.

She has to go, right?

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Betty is planning something, you know that right?