What if the stars went out? (A TsukkiYama fic) {COMPLETED}

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A/N:
So I got a little impatient to post the next chapter... but honestly it's the highlight of my day. I hope you guys are enjoying it.
Also, the song mentioned in this chapter is Make You Mine by PUBLIC. Me and my friend (who is my first reader, love u!!!) decided that Yams would prob like that song so here we are.
Please comment or vote!

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"Oh my- Kei!" Tsukki's mom cried, bursting through the door into his hospital room. Akiteru was right behind her, white-faced.

"Hi, mom," Tsukki said, letting her wrap him in a hug.

She pulled away, searching his face anxiously.

"Are you okay?" She kissed the bandage on Tsukki's forehead, and Tsukki nodded.

"I'm fine. I just hit my head."

Akiteru exchanged an anxious glance with their mom.

"What about Tadashi?" Akiteru asked.

Tsukki's heart went cold.
"He shoved me out of the way and got hit. I don't know where he is or what's happening with him," Tsukki answered in a voice that was almost monotone.

Akiteru blinked, shocked.
"He got hit- and you- you don't even care?"

Tsukki stared steadily at Akiteru.
"It's not like I made him push me out of the way. It was his choice. So in a way, it's his fault."

Tsukki's mom looked shocked now, too.
"Kei- how can you- you're just in
shock-" she stammered, trying to find an excuse for her cold, unfeeling son.

Hah. There's no excuse. Even I can't come up with one.

The doctor who had tended to Tsukki earlier came in the room now.

She smiled at Tsukki's mom, offering her a chair which she took. Akiteru stayed standing, eyes dark.

Once the doctor started talking, Tsukki tuned out immediately. She'd already told him all this, so he didn't care.
His thoughts strayed to Yamaguchi, and then he forced them away.

Don't. If you start, you won't stop.

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Tsukki was to be released from the hospital the next day. His mom had offered to stay the night, but Tsukki refused. He insisted he'd be fine, it was just one night.

That night he couldn't sleep. Daichi and Suga had come in earlier to see him, and they'd given him updates on Yamaguchi.

He was alive.

But in a coma.

Tsukki had no idea what to think. His brain felt like it was frozen in the moment before the crash. Yamaguchi was walking backwards in front of him, chatting away.
He realized that he was angry at Yamaguchi. For shoving Tsukki out of the way. He would've been fine if he hadn't shoved Tsukki.

And Tsukki almost wished that he'd been hit instead.

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That night Tsukki crept out of his room, unable to sleep. He had a faint idea to go visit Yamaguchi, but he had no idea where his friend was.

So, he just started walking.

The tile was cold beneath his bare feet, and he wished he'd brought a blanket.
There was a song stuck in Tsukki's head.

And it played on repeat.

You need to know
We'll take it slow
I miss you so
It's hard to feel you slipping
Through my fingers are so numb
And how was I supposed to know
That you were not the one?

Stop.

Tsukki tried to distract himself by thinking of ANYTHING but Yamaguchi or his song.

He went over the most recent subject he'd learned in science. He brought up some of the old dinosaur facts he'd memorized. He went through the motions of jumping to block, and to serve. No, volleyball just made him think of Yamaguchi.

He went back to thinking about dinosaurs.
Room after room passed him, and Tsukki glanced at the nearest glowing sign.

Emergency Center.

Tsukki paused, then chose a new hallway at random. His feet shuffled as he continued on, eyes fixed on the ground.

And then he paused again.

And turned to look into the room he'd stopped by.

The door was slightly ajar, probably left open by a doctor or nurse going in and out.

Tsukki stepped forward and softly pushed the door open a bit more.

The first thing that drew his attention was the heart monitor, screen glowing, beeping steadily.

The room was dark, and Tsukki felt like a ghost approaching the bed, barely able to see.

Then his eyes adjusted.

Yamaguchi.

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Oh god. That couldn't be Yamaguchi. It just couldn't. His face was obscured by something that looked like a mask, connected to a tube. Everything was connected to tubes. And the tubes and wires were everywhere.

Tsukki stared, transfixed at the machinery. The wires connected to Yamaguchi's pale skin. His bruised, bandaged, bare chest.

His face.

Still. Pale. Freckled, as always. But scratched and bandaged, too.

"Tadashi," Tsukki whispered. Even though he didn't say it to Yamaguchi, he still expected a response.

He didn't get one.

Tsukki left the room, numb, closing the door tightly behind him.

His stomach churned, and Tsukki leaned against the wall, stunned.

He didn't understand how that could be  Yamaguchi.

Tsukki didn't even know how he made it back to his room, but he found himself sitting on the edge of his bed, then curling up under the blankets, trying to drown everything out.

Sleep was a long way off, though.