Intricate: The Beginning of Us| MARKNOMINHYUCK(bxbxbxb)

32: Anyone but him

Jeno

It felt strange. I'm not saying that I missed it. Missed him. It just... felt out of the ordinary. It now felt queer for his presence to not be here. I had grown used to it. To him being here. For some reason, as I lay on the infirmary bed, staring at the familiar ceiling, I can only think about the familiar pink-haired boy. 

I know better than this, I tell myself, but the image and memory of his face don't leave my mind. 

It was just weird. Not feeling his presence, that is and I hated it. I hate that I let myself grow used to having him around and I hate that I don't dislike the idea of him being here. I'll admit, for a split second, I felt concerned as to why he wasn't here until I reminded myself that it was none of my business. 

Perhaps he decided to never come back. That was fine. I don't care, either way.

When I hear the door open, I make no effort to move. I know it's Ms. Kwon even if at the back of my mind I hoped for it to be someone else. Of course, I would never admit that out loud.

The curtain in front of the bed is drawn, revealing the petite woman with a hand on her hip and a raised eyebrow. It takes everything in me to not roll my eyes at her pose. "Has Jaemin come by?" She asks rather sternly and suspiciously.

I sigh lowly and warily turn my face to look at the curtain beside me where a certain person was resting. I don't care about him. "I don't know and I don't care," I respond to her nonchalantly, closing my eyes back up and relaxing on the bed.

"That's odd," Mr. Kwon mumbles. "He must've gotten tired of you," she says in a playful voice. Even though I do my best to not show it, I tense at that in the slightest. 

"I mean it, shut up," I tell her sharply, opening my eyes and sitting up only so she could see the glare I have on my face.

"Hey, you will not disrespect me like that," she glares. "All I'm saying is that if Jaemin doesn't come back it's because of you. He has been such a good person by coming back to check on you and you have taken it for granted. Do you honestly not feel anything by him not being here?"

I look at her intently for a couple of seconds. She looks at me back, challenging me. After a moment, I scoff and grab my backpack from beside me before going past her and out of the room. 

She was right but I didn't care. I was glad that Jaemin wasn't there, I hoped that he would never come back, too. He was useless and a nuisance to me. He kept coming back as if I needed him, as if he were some hero, as if he actually cared about me. It was obvious he didn't, it was obvious he only came back so that he felt better about himself. I don't feel anything about him not being there, if anything I felt relief. 

I was at the back of the school and panting by the time I came back to my senses. I lost focus for a while, but that's fine. My thoughts got the best of me. Sometimes they do that.

I lean on the wall which without a doubt is filled with dust but right now that isn't important. I tilt my head back so it was touching the wall and close my eyes, still catching my breath. At the moment, I didn't even register that there was a dumpster next to me and some stray dogs eating garbage only a couple of feet away. 

I was out of it.

The thought that it was because of a person made me hate myself.

"Hey," I hear a voice beside me, stepping outside the door that leads to the inside of the school. 

The person steps closer and I notice that it was Mark fucking Lee, just what I needed. I scoff, pushing myself off the wall, taking only a step closer to him. "I'm really not in the mood to be pissed off right now," I state, bumping into his shoulder as I attempt to walk away from the area. 

I don't get far when he's speaking again. "I need to talk to you. In a civil manner, I would prefer," he answers just as coldly as I had talked. 

I pause. Slowly, I turn my whole body to face him. I didn't want to get into an argument right now, he said he wanted to talk civilly, what could go wrong?

Mark

When I ran after Jeno, I wasn't sure why I did that. Something just told me I should and when I finally caught up with him and I saw him, I somehow just knew. I wanted answers. It felt wrong to come to him for them, but I needed them. I want to understand Jaemin so desperately that I would go to all measures. Talking to the biggest asshole I've met just happens to be one of them.

"What Ms. Kwon and you were talking about earlier, what did you mean?" I ask blankly. I felt it was better to stay neutral than to show emotion to him. 

Jeno scowls, his signature look. "What? Are you tuning into private conversations now?" He almost looks angry. He tries to subside the feeling, I can tell.

"There isn't much noise-blocking when we're in the same room and only separated by a curtain," I respond matter-of-factly, only getting him to look angrier. 

"What we were discussing is none of your business," he concludes, turning around in another attempt to leave but I make a move before he can. I step forward and take his wrist.

I sigh in frustration. "Please," I plead. "I just need to know. Jaemin, during lunchtime, is he hanging out with you?"

I begged so desperately for the answer to be 'no' but I knew better than to try to fool myself. In the back of my mind, I was already conscious of the answer to the question.

Jeno stays silent for a couple of seconds, examining me. He looks at me intently, as if he was trying to find the ulterior motive of this question but I tried to keep everything down. I needed him to be honest. I needed to know. 

"Jaemin comes by the infirmity room during lunch," was his answer. He yanks his arm away and without another word, he walks away.

Instantly, I feel dejected.

What the fuck was I going to do?

I could learn to love anyone but Lee Jeno?

With my heart in the pit of my stomach and my shoulders slumped, I gulp with teary eyes before walking back into the school.