Looking in a mirror

Would they hurt as much as i do?

Sometimes I'm just laying down thinking of people I used to be friends with, now they don't deserve that title. Sometimes I can't but to think that maybe if I kill myself that they will understand how much they hurt me, that they would regret what they did. I can't ever bring myself to do it nor do I have a plan to. The thought lingers around 24/7 though and I hate how I can't move on. I spent my whole 1-9th with one of them, the others were from 6-9th. I can't help but to feel like throwing up when I remember all the shit I told them and how they used it against me.