[{_Zhongchi Oneshots_}]

Boys don't cry [sad-ish fluff]

childe talks abt his family
i always expect to write short chapters and then just
1.1k words
awooga

Ever since Childe was born, his family taught him non-ideal things. These consisted of bad opinions on other people, gendered stereotypes and many more... old fashioned opinions.

The one that made him feel the most miserable has always been the stupid- boys don't cry. He tried his best to never shed a tear. He couldn't be seen as emotional, weak, miserable, useless.. he couldn't afford that. Even with all the money, he couldn't afford it.

Luckily, as he got older he started to develop his own opinions and denied many of his parents' ideas. Boys shouldn't cry. That stuck with him. Always and forever.

,,Good morning, Ajax," Zhongli smiled as his boyfriend, who's hair was a mess walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. ,,how'd you sleep?"

,,Morning Zhongli.. why didn't you wake me up?" Childe yawned and sat on their dining table, speaking in a visibly tired voice.

,,I have decided it would be the best to let you rest. Although... you could use some more sleep, right? Why don't you head back to bed, I can bring breakfast there."

Childe always got emotional at Zhongli's small acts of kindness, whether it was treating Childe's injuries, helping him eat with chopsticks, or just simply hugging him. Childe loves his family, don't get it wrong, but he always lacked the comfort that Zhongli gives him.

Nodding his head in response to Zhongli's demanding question, he turned around, whispered a thanks and headed back to their shared bed, where he dug into the blankets and awkwardly waited for Zhongli to come lay next to him.

Zhongli sat down next to him, still holding their breakfast on a small portable wooden desk. As he put down the piece of wood with plates and cups on their bed, he sighed, words following: ,,You seem a bit down, Childe. Not even tired, just sad.. has anything happened?" He looked at his boyfriend who's hand he reached out for to hold.

,,I'm just thinking." The ginger replied after a minute or so of silence, even though it felt like hours to him. He was burying himself in his thoughts, discussing whether he should tell Zhongli that his family has been urging him to get a girlfriend as he didn't tell them about being gay nor about Zhongli, work has been stressing him out and he couldn't bring himself to sleep due to all the problems and thoughts blocking his normal thinking.

,,Okay, erm.. how to say this," Zhongli mumbled, trying to find the right words to comfort Childe, ,,you can talk to me, Ajax. I'm not the best with emotions, but I want you to trust me. I respect, if you do not want to talk to me about it, but I would love to help you through anything that's going on. I love you, and I care about you, I need you to know that." He smiled and kissed Childe's cheek, like he always does after taking care of his wounds. It was his way of saying 'I'm right here, for you.'

The ginger pushed the food away and climbed towards Zhongli who was seemingly too far away. He wrapped his arms around him and buried his head into his shoulder, holding him stronger than ever before. Zhongli returned the hug, softly rubbing his head and played with his ginger locks.

,,It's okay, it's okay." Zhongli whispered, feeling his shoulder getting wet.

,,I'm sorry, I really am. It's so stupid." Childe pulled away suddenly and looked away, mentally cursing at himself for being so weak. ,,I have no right to cry like this, I'm sorry.."

,,Childe- it's not stupid or embarassing. It's okay to express your emotions, you need to express them," Zhongli grabbed Childe's hand again and carresed it with his thumb. ,,I'm here to listen to you, I just need words to listen to..."

,,Archons, I hate you so much." Childe sobbed and hugged Zhongli again, this time wrapping his legs around his upper body too. ,,I just.. I don't know. They don't- they don't know about you or about me and... I'm just so worried that I can't even function properly." He managed to mumble and dipped his forehead into Zhongli's shoulder.

,,Shh.." Zhongli kissed his head, ,,do you want to.. tell them? I'm certain it may free you of some feelings." He smiled softly into the kiss that he was placing on Childe's head yet again.

,,Boys shouldn't cry.." Childe whispered quietly enough for Zhongli to not understand what he said, but to be aware he had words slipping out of his mouth.

,,Hm?" He hummed, asking Childe to repeat what he had previously said.

,,That's what they always told me. Boys don't cry."

,,Ajax.." Zhongli lifted his lover's head off his soaked shoulder so he would be facing him, ,,You know that's really stupid.. everyone can cry, everyone should cry maybe even. Invalidating feelings based on genders, just how old-fashioned is that family of yours?" Childe chuckled at the last remark and cupped Zhongli's cheeks.

,,I want to tell them.. tell them about you, about the love of my life. I just.. it's so hard leaving you out of the letters.." Childe sighed and planted kisses on the bare neck of Zhongli.

,,Mhm.. would you like to... write it now?"

,,Yeah.." He said as his stomach growled, sighing awkwardly, ,,let's eat first, though." He smiled, put the wooden desk closer to them and they began eating, talking about what the letter should contain, about Childe's feeling, and it felt nice. It really did.

Dear Tonia, my dear family,
I hope you all are doing as well as you possibly can. How is this autumn treating you? I hope it's similiar to Liyue.. it's quite beautiful, to be honest.
Have you recieved all my gifts? I'm not sure if I got you all the ideal ones though, neither of us wrote in a few weeks.
I have some great news for you all, but especially mother and father. I suppose they should see this first and then decide if it is appropriate enough for the youngsters, haha.
Well, hi mom, dad. You've been urging me for some time now to finally get a partner. I did it. But, there may be some... rather unperfect things about us, you may think. He is a man. I know this sounds weird and.. just weird. But I promise you all, he is a great, knowlegable, funny and smart guy. Ever since I've met him, I became really happy. I'm sorry if this upset you. I still appreciate you as my parents and you haven't failed as ones. It's just love.
We hope you can meet him soon.
Love, Ajax