The First Time

Chapter 4

Fern sat on the couch and attempted to read more of his book but he couldn't focus. Every few sentences he found his mind wandering to the night before. He'd gotten swept up in Finn's excitement, as usual, but maybe getting their hearts set on sex when their physical compatibility was so off wasn't a good idea. For his part, Fern had given up on the idea months ago, pretty much as soon as he had given the issue any thought. Sex, like breathing or eating, seemed like something his cursed body wouldn't allow for. Unlike with eating though, Fern found that the physical cravings he felt hadn't diminished at all. When his desire for his soulmate was at its strongest, Fern couldn't help but feel a sense of bitterness that he would never be able to satisfy it fully. It was the most painful of all the reminders that he was no longer human. Luckily, he was able to touch Finn all he wanted. That helped. As the two of them had found more and more creative ways to express their physical longing, the sense of missing out on something had faded and the bitterness with it. If he was honest with himself, Fern felt unsure about opening himself up to the hope of regaining the possibility of that kind of a physical connection, only to have it proven that it was impossible after all and to have to begin the process of acceptance all over again.

A tone from his cell phone roused Fern from his musings. He checked the device to find a text from Finn. He was with Bonnie and Marcy so could Fern do his own thing for dinner? This was, of course, just a courtesy since Fern didn't eat. The grass boy felt a little pang. He missed his relationship with the girls. Or rather he felt the loss of the relationships he knew from Finn's memories. Fern sighed. A little more time alone to sort through his emotions might not be such a bad thing. He texted his boyfriend back to have fun and tell the girls 'hi.' The half-demon closed his book, finally giving up the effort. He thought maybe he'd tidy up the treasure room instead. Finn never let him do it when he was home and it would get him out of his head.

........

After organizing the spoils of his and Finn's adventures in the treasure room, Fern found that he was still in need of a distraction and moved on to clean the rest of the house. He had just finished wiping the dust from the surfaces in the living room when he heard a knock at the door. Ripping off the apron and gloves he wore when he cleaned, he hurried downstairs to see who it was.

Fern was surprised to find Jake waiting for him at the door. Awkwardly he informed him that Finn was still at the castle. Pleased, but a little confused, Fern obliged when Jake explained that he was there to see Fern himself and asked to be let in.

"Sorry, I just assumed," Fern said sheepishly as he held the door open for the dog.

"No worries, man. How ya been?" Jake replied breezily.

Jake did a double take as he took in the spotless kitchen.

"Man, did you clean this place up all by yourself?" he added, impressed.

"Well, Finn definitely didn't help," the grass boy joked.

They both chuckled.

"Yeah, my boy never was the kind to tidy up," Jake said affectionately.

"Nah, but I don't mind. Cleaning helps me clear my head."

Fern trailed off looking distant and it brought Jake around to the purpose of his visit.

"About that. I think I might know what's on your mind. You see, Finn stopped by to talk to me earlier."

Fern filled in the dots and blushed, looking at the floor.

"Oh, um," he started.

Jake cut him off.

"Look, it's nothing to be shy about. You two have been together for a while now and you're old enough that when you love someone, it's natural if you wanna express that love physically."