The Key Of The End

The Memory I Suppressed

The room was dark, it gave me chills in a really bad way, my heart was beating fast while I was in the empty room it reminded me of something but I just couldn't think what. ''Where am I'' I asked my lips were trembling I could feel my face becoming numb, I don't know why I bothered asking Sampson the question because I knew exactly where I was and that's what scared me. "You know where you are Alex" Sampson answered as he moved across the dark room. I could hear noises from above the stairs, the smell of strong beer fuming through the room as the noise became more heard, the noises of footsteps came more visible as the lights suddenly got switched on. It was my Father my drunken father, he stumbled across the room in his ripped white shirt and grubby trousers, his hair was greased really bad and he stunk of stale booze, it was revolting it smelt so bad that the sewage would have smelled like roses. His face was creased in an unhealthy way; he looked about sixty even though he would have only been in his forty's. "Julie where's my beer" he slurred, he was now leaning on the dirty boards of the kitchen his body swaying in a drunken manner, he now staggered across the living room floor leaning on the last step when he shouted this time. "Julie my fucking beer" this time I walked along the floor listening to the creaks of the laminated wood. I had a good look round seeing all the pictures of my dad in the pub, he loved beer as you may have noticed even when he was working until he lost his job because of drinking and since then he never worked again, it was up to my mum to provide for the family and look after my dad and me. He was just useless never done anything just got drunk and hit my mother when he felt like it, he used to say it kept her on her toes. "I'm coming" my mum whimpered as she came down the stairs, she had a ripped blue dressing gown on with her hair tied back in a messy bun, she had bags around her eyes with one that was covered with a shining black eye that looked like it was healing slowly but still fresh at the same time, her skin did not look healthy at all, she seemed pale and way too skinny. I started to have tears in my eyes just seeing her like this it was horrible and knowing that it just became worse now she's in a mental hospital, I had a big hole in my heart seeing this.

Ten minutes later my mum and dad was in the living room sitting on the white settee, my mum looked uncomfortable like she knew what was coming but my dad he was just too drunk to show emotions, he had his can of beer so why didn't he let my mum go back to bed?, after he finished the can, he chucked it across the floor not even thinking about the mess. "Get me another" he demanded, this time I clenched my fist and was ready to swing but I knew I couldn't it wouldn't have done anything, all this was is an image, a memory I once forgotten existed. "Don't you think you had enough sweet heart" my mum sweetly told him, but that didn't help her, he turned gave her a sharp look one that she had seen many times, she started to whimper begging him not too but that didn't help her cause, he lifted his hand swinging a sharp slap that knocked her off her feet and landing on the floor, she was now crying but really quietly knowing that he would attack again. "Now dog get me another" he lifted her up and pushed her towards the kitchen hitting her head on the wall. "Mom" I shouted running towards her but regretting it as soon as my eyes gazed upon on her. I saw her face the red mark across her cheek from my dad's hand and the fresh bruise showing on her head, she went into the fridge and got another can for him; she slowly walked towards my evil father and placed the fresh can on the table. "Mummy" I heard my tiny self say on top of the stairs, I started to feel confused not knowing what to do. I didn't remember myself being here, watching this scene but maybe my mum sent me back to bed and that's why I didn't remember but that was not the case I heard myself coming down stairs watching the scene of my dad grabbing his can, my mum stood up going towards little me in striped Pyjamas, she bent over looking at me In the eyes with her now bruised face. "Go to bed hunny" she sweetly told me, her voice was so beautiful so peaceful even though she goes through hell near enough everyday "What happened to your face?" I asked holding my little dinosaur toy in my hand I squeezed for some reason it must have been me being nervous but then again I couldn't remember none of this, nothing came to mind, I looked about five years old but still I remembered everything about my dad even his abusive ways to my mum but why not this. "Mummy had a little accident now go to bed" she whispered in her angelic tone again but I was being stubborn I wouldn't move I just stared at my mum's face and then suddenly at my father who was gulping the cold beer down his throat, he looked and gave little me a grunt with a evil stare "What the fuck you looking at boy?" he snapped holding the can in his left hand, I didn't say anything I just carried on staring. "Sweetie go to bed" my mum begged now kneeling next to me, but I just ignored her and carried on staring, my dad stood up still staggering from all the alcohol he consumed, he walked over stumbling over every piece of furniture. "I will teach you manners boy" he went to swing at five year old me until my mum grabbed his arm and stopped him, pleading with him not to do it, he chucked her violently on the settee. "Fine you have his punishment" he whispered in an evil voice, he clenched his fist and gave her a sharp punch. I started to shout, trying to grab him but my dad chucked little me across the floor but that did not stop me I grabbed the woman shaped ornament on the table and hit it over my dad's head landing him on the floor, and in my surprise I didn't stop I just hit and hit him until my mum grabbed me in her arms, she now had swelled eyes and a blooded face that covered her bagged up eyes she held me close as I screamed and cried. "Shush don't worry you didn't do this" her voice changed it became more gentle but it also had something hateful ringing out of her curved lips. She rocked me back and forth calming me down from my screams. I started to pace across the room watching my mum rub her fingerprints across the ornament, she was laughing in an insane way like she finally lost her humanity, she rubbed my dad's blood on her hands and then went towards little me in the corner "You did not do this I did this okay, please sweetie you didn't do this I did, I did" she kept repeating herself as she went to the phone and told the police that my dad hit her again and she finished him once and for all, she told them how she grabbed the ornament and hit him over the head that she loved the way it felt the way she could hear his brain splatter against the floor and his skull crunch, when she finally put the phone down she told me to get to bed and go to sleep which little me finally did. Something finally snapped inside her head which was slowly creeping out from when my dad started to beat her.

My head started to hurt knowing the truth of what happened to my dad was impossible how the hell did I do it?, it wasn't me it was my mum she finally had enough of his abusive ways but it was all a lie I did it I stopped my dad's devilish ways "How can I do it? I was five" I told Sampson as I watched my mum being arrested and me being taken to my grandparents, who I lived with until I was sixteen when they died of cancer. "You were not an ordinary child Alex you had unique gifts and one was strength" he told me, his eyes locked at mine giving me encouragement but most of all pity, he knew that I had forgotten, knew that I made myself believe it was mum who did this, "I want to go" I snapped as I walked across to the now black gate that stood in the corner of the room. I was crying but not in sadness but more in astonishment, more in anger, I hated my dad so much that I killed him then forgetting but not just that. I watched my mum get arrested and sent to a mental home for me, and what was even worse was that I caused mum to finally lose it, the last screw loosened in her head and that was because of me which made me feel so low so responsible and I couldn't bear it. Sampson didn't respond he just stood there watching my anger get higher, I walked towards the wall releasing my anger into the concrete walls, screaming and shouting but mainly crying releasing all my emotions In one and you know what, it helped it really did.