𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘴

27 - memories and guilt

—last chapter

It was a song Itachi wrote for us to sing at our sensei's wedding. I had a weird voice so I made him sing it while I played the flute for him. Though I messed up the performance during the function, but his voice was beautiful enough to ignore the flaw.

I still remember it, every line.
"Every line of it.." I said in a whisper. I heard my heartbeat in my ears,"...ah..right, now you're going to miss him,"

◍

-lovelife of Ms Namikaze-

~•━━━  🧸🍭🦋  ━━━•~

"Goodnight, y/n-san," Naruto rubbed his eyes, as a tiny yawn gradually turned into a tiresome one. I hummed, turning the light and door close.

I walked to the kitchen counter, to where the light sockets were, and turned the lights off. It got real dark, making me turn the lights back on instantly.

"..I could have tripped.." I said to myself, going to my room to turn the lights on. I head back to the kitchen counter and turned the lights off once again.

As I passed the couch, my mind collected a past memory and replayed it.

~~"My..lips may have...touched yours.."~~

I smiled. "Festivals almost here once again, marks another year of you becoming a rogue Shinobi.." I said to myself in a quiet tone, entering my room.

"..but somewhere within me, wants you to come back and live in our lives as if nothing happened, or maybe just forgiven by everyone..?" I bitterly smiled, knowing too well how it's always going to be a 'wonder' rather than becoming true.

I could feel the creeping sadness up my heart. I sat down on the bed after turning the lights off, keeping the lamp on. I took the hand cream from my bed side table. Only a little was remaining, even when I had used it niggardly.

"is your hand still soft and firm? I don't think so haha," I said. "I shouldn't be thinking about a criminal, I shouldn't.." I stopped, shutting my eyes close,"..but why..am I still thinking about you..?"

Itachi

"I will leave then." I announced to the rest as they seemed to be occupied with their own bickerings and tiredness. I closed the door behind me and stopped for a moment, trying to breathe properly.

The moon hugged the clouds or did the clouds hug it? Either way, they both seem close and had warmth.

The walk some minutes long, maybe I should hurry back home and get some sleep so that if any work arises, I can feel enough energized.

"I am home." I announced to no one, walking inside the house. I took off the cloak and went straight to wash up.

Having dinner with the Akatsuki will never change, No one ever shuts up when talking about themselves. I should pass the next time I get called, it's better to have some eggs and ramen than those meaningless screaming.

I dried out my hands onto the dress I wore and headed towards my room. The lights were not needed so I went straight to preparing my futon. I lied it down and matted it down.

I slide down under the blanket and let out a sigh. I took out my hands and examined, rough and some skin is coming off in little.

"out of her care and you can't even take care of yourself..?" I asked myself.

My expression remained unchanged, as if the years long grief have made me run out of it with the tears. I hugged onto my futon and tossed to my right, facing the glass sliding doors, leading to the backyard view.

The yard had overgrown grass. "Maybe tomorrow, if there's no mission for me and Kisame," I got up and walked to the door, sliding it to open,"He can help I guess, can you?" I asked to the man sitting on the roof.

"I can definitely only if you're treating me to the seafoods once again," Kisame said, sipping from his can.

"Did you set up my futon?" He asked, getting down and taking a look inside. He squinted his eyes, examining the inside.

"Haaa? you didn't?"

"Do it yourself," I said, taking a sit on the floor of the deck. "I was going to anyways," Kisame took his shoes off and went to set up his futon.

"why sleep in my room when you have your own?"

"My room got roaches, want me to get eaten alive?"

"if it means that I will be able to live alone, then why even asking?"

"....wow.."

I gazed at the moon and stars, the clouds dimmed the lights as it passed them. The pond glimmered with the lights and painted itself with the image of the night.

I leaned my head against the wood and watched the wonders of the night. "Here," I turned to take the can Kisame was offering. He sat down beside with his opened one, taking a good gulp.

"Gaaaah! It sure does energize you, don't you think?" Kisame said, I had nothing to say so I kept quiet.

I stared at the can, wiping away the water droplets from it's body. "you seem down, alot more than any other." Kisame marked. I never understood the difference, everyday seemed the same with guilt and grief.

Yet again, I didn't answer and let him speak. "This is how we antagonist gotta live, we can never be the good guy when we know what we are doing is bad. I like killing people, what is this satisfactory feeling? As a human—"

"huh?"

"NEVERMIND, I FORGOT THAT I WAS FISH," I felt Kisame rolling his eyes at me. "anyways," he continued,"we have the ability to distinguish but we cannot change. This is the role and story for us," He shared his thoughts, but it didn't make me feel better. Maybe because it was not even something that was bothering me in the first place? Maybe.