chapter 7

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The slytherin party was not James and Regulus' first kiss but it was the first kiss that really mattered. The first happened after a  very drunken night. Both boys had been drinking separately in their respectable dorms.

The marauders were having fun playing truth or dare which lead to some questionable truths

James had confirmed that his mother was in fact a milf. Sirius had recalled every detail from his past at his childhood home and had finally admitted he missed his brother like crazy. Remus had confirmed that his Greatest fear is hurting his friends whether in wolf form or human form. Peter had blurted out his true feelings about the Slytherins and that being he adored some of them.

The dares however,this lead to the events that would change the way they viewed themselves.

Remus always knew of his little crush on Sirius but he always thought it was out of admiration rather than love but that night changed his whole entire view point. The minute his lips touched Sirius', he just knew his feeling went far beyond admiration.

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"Pads you need to tell me what is wrong. You have been crying in my lap for the last 20 minutes with no explanation" Remus tried to reason

Sirius just sobbed harder feeling all the pain resonate in his chest. Feeling his whole body hurt with pain from the betrayal of his best friend

"Was it his move to Slytherin? Because he will be back. Where is James? He didn't come back with you. Is he okay?" Remus asked concerned.

Sirius suddenly gets really angry with remus.

"That boy is dead to me." Sirius shouts causing Peter to cover his ears

"Wait hold up. Pads he is your best friend. Our best friend. He has been for years. He took you in from practically the streets" Remus reminds him

"And now he is dead to me" Sirius repeats

"W-what the heck did he do" Peter asked quietly removing his hands from his ears

"HE Pranked us. With those stupid pathetic  Slytherins. He befriended my bloody brother which was my golden rule. He is nothing to me" sirius told them all

"Oh come on Pads, this is a good thing he is a grifindor. He can stay here still and be our best friend" Peter told him

"No he cannot. I kicked him out. He is not welcome here and if I catch him here I will hex him into oblivion. He belongs with the Slytherins. Who knows he might even join the dark Lord" sirius spat out of anger.

"Sirius-" Remus starts

"Don't sirius me. I did not come here to change my mind. I came here to cry and then  to inform you we are no longer friends with Potter. He has chosen his side" Sirius told his best friends

They just looked between each other.

"Pete just give us a minute will you?" Mooney asked politely"

Peter just nods and walks out of the room

"Listen Pads, I know you are hurting, and I know he has completely gone against your trust and I know it is hard for you to build that trust but Prongs is not a bad person he is your best friend and I'm fairly certain he meant no harm. Just a little prank, you cannot just cut him off" Remus told him as Sirius leans his head on mooneys lap

"I know moons I know that. It just hurts. It hurts more than when mother put me under cruico, It hurts me more than when I used to get hit and whipped by my parents or bullied by stupid Bellatrix Because I truly did trust him. I never thought he would do this. With my brother no less" sirius admits starting to sob quietly again.

"Is it the fact that he hurt you and pranked you..or is it the fact he pranked you with your brother?" Remus questioned carefully

"I-i miss him so much" sirius admits whilst taking remus further in his arms

"Then might I suggest that you aren't as mad as you think at Prongs and that you may be a tad jealous of their relationship with each other" Remus suggests

"I-I no they cannot have a relationship of any sort specially if that is an actual relationship" padfoot stutters

"I think what is happening now is that you are so protective of both James and Regulus that you are scared that them talking or forming a friendship will take James away from you." Remus reasoned

"I-I don't even know if I am mad at him like that. It feels like betrayal and not because he pranked me. We prank each other all the time. It is because it was made up by my little reggie. My precious reg and he means the world to me but then so does James and I just regret leaving reggie and I want to rebuild that relationship but it is too late" Sirius says looking up to remus

Remus just strokes his hair and looks into his eyes.

"It is never too late. Just take your time and when you are ready talk to regulus and talk to James. He will understand" remus told him

Sirius just sniffles and continues to stare into Remus' eyes

"How do you know what to say everytime?" sirius asks

"Because I am very knowledge. But just give everything time okay?" Remus tells him gently before staring back into his eyes

"If you want to see James you can I am not going to stop you. I am honestly not that mad at him anymore." Sirius states

But Remus is no longer paying attention to the conversation. He sees his lips moving but all he can focus on is holding himself back from kissing his best friend.

Sirius seems to catch on to the lack of attention and follows his eyes to his mouth where he knows what that means.

Sirius has had many girlfriends in the past. They never seem to last very long due to his mixed feelings about one other boy that right now is sat opposite him staring directly into his lips.

His girlfriends never lasted long because they were a distraction. A distraction from his sexuality. His distraction from Remus Lupin.

Without realising however, he was leaning in, he was moving closer and closer to Remus. He had lost all sense of self control and was inching closer by the second.

Then their lips touched.

They both felt it. It felt the exact same as when they did it drunk except this time. They were completely sober.

They felt the electric fizzing on their lips. Butterflies going into their bellies. Everything felt perfect and right and this was everything his previous girlfriends wasn't.

But something told Sirius it  felt wrong. It wasn't  Remus, it wasn't the kiss. He just knew this wasn't right. Something in his mind triggered and he knew that men kissing men was not right and would not be accepted. No matter how right he felt in this moment.

So he did the only thing he could. He pushed away.

"I-I'm sorry..i-it isn't you I-i just" Sirius tried to explain  before running out the room with a few tears dripping once more.

All he longed  for at this moment was remus' lips on his.

But he couldn't possibly like Remus in that way. Could he?

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